The Not-So-Official Ren & Stimpy Episode Guide

Written By: Nick Sayer

Cowritten and Edited By: Norman Sippel

HTML Markup by: Marcus Comstedt

Version: Fri Apr 15 12:44:44 EDT 1994

This episode guide doesn't list all the episodes, rather all the components that seem to be arranged in random pairs to make a half-hour show. Though the component arrangements don't shift around, they aren't logically connected either, except for the connection between "Untamed World" and the "Crocostimpy" WWDTT, and "Stimpy's Big Day" and "The Big Shot".

This guide will be posted along with the other Ren And Stimpy documents onto the Internet every two weeks. It also can be received by those who do not have UseNet access by sending electronic mail to ren-n-stimpy@aug3.augsburg.edu. See the FAQ for more details about it.

Copyright Acknowledgment: Before the Not-So-Official R&S Guide continues, I want to acknowledge the copyrights and trademarks of Nickelodeon, Viacom, and all the other companies which are mentioned in this document and the other two (Encyclopedia, FAQ). The purpose of the R&S documents (FAQ, Guide, Encyclopedia) are to inform people, and the documents are kept in my spare time and are kept for no profit.

Distribution and Site File Access: This FAQ document, if kept on a file transfer protocol (FTP) site, must be kept in a public access section and be available for free; otherwise, the site may not carry this document. If a site accepts these terms, it may freely distribute this document as long as it remains in tact with proper disclaimers and credits.

This document, or any derivative works thereof, may not be sold or redistributed for profit in any way without express written permission (through paper [snail] mail) of the editor, Norman G. Sippel. This includes, but is not limited to, translations into foreign languages, mass archival as on a CD_ROM, inclusion in commercially published compilations (books), and uploading this document to non-USENET services.

This document represents the collective effort of many USENET Ren and Stimpy fans. We appreciate your honoring of this policy.

Guest Appearences:

Brother From The Same Planet (An Episode From The Simpsons)

There was a short sequence from "The Simpsons" where Bart and his big brother watches cable, and the audience watches R&S with him. Ren and Stimpy discuss table manners and Stimpy's cooking.

The Front (An Episode From The Simpsons)

R&S's slide at the TV awards is lost when they show the category for TV cartoons. (A Matt Groening commentary on R&S's production schedule :D :)

The Tiny Toons Spring Break Special (A One Hour Tiny Toon Adventures)

When Nick least expected it, the Tiny Toons had Beaver and Bighead (Beavis and Butthead) meet Rank and Stinky (Ren and Stimpy, no relation!:). A definite must watch!

Product Commercials:

Frosted Mini-Wheats (Kellogg's)

Opening sequence: A father and daughter on her eating habits. The cartoon: R&S are underwater. Ren yells, "Stimpy, can't you see I'm drowning!" Stimpy, who's next to him, says, "I'll Save Ya!" And then they scream. Then they realize they are in a keychain full of water, which is the advertisement is trying to get people to send away for with two UPC Codes (Proofs Of Purchase). The keychain has elements of SNICK in it. (I'm getting mine--does anyone have extra proofs they want to send to me? :)

Corn Pops (Kellogg's)

Opening sequence: A old man and his grandson go fishing. The cartoon: R&S are screaming because something is falling on them--a pair of shorts! :) Unfortunately, it's not PTM's manly shorts, but a pair of regular shorts with R&S prints on it. Send two UPC Codes (Proofs Of Purchase) and $6.95 for each pair.

Music Videos:

Happy Happy Joy Joy

Like the RCKY Theme video, it uses all the same

The Royal Canadian Kilted Yaksmen Theme

Using the same animation as in the episode, this is the current musical hit on the Canadian music station, MuchMusic. MuchMusic is the only one playing it currently.

Fire Dogs

It is a compilation of the episode "Fire Dogs" and other clips, from Son Of Stimpy to Visit To Anthony. MTV is playing it currently.

Space Madness (Or is it another one??)

No details yet, but has turned up on MTV according to rumor.

Season 1:

Long stuff: Each of these is about 7 to 8 minutes.

Big House Blues

The characters are introduced, then run over and scraped up by the dog catcher. They spend the night in the pound and Ren is rescued by a little girl the next morning (who mistakes him for a poodle after Stimpy coughed up a hairball on him). Ren won't go, though, unless Stimpy comes too.

The Boy Who Cried "Rat!"

After rummaging through a dumpster for some food, Ren has an idea how they can make a dishonest living ("WORK?! Have you lost your MIND?!"). Ren sneaks into a house and cuts into the wall. Stimpy arrives the next morning bearing the title "Professional Mouse Catcher" and chases Ren (throwing himself into the role, complete with Mickey ears and sound effects ["Squeak! Squeak, I tell you! Squeak!"]) around the house.

Fire Dogs

Our heroes are down to Stimpy's last grain of litter, so they have to find jobs. They see a poster indicating positions open for fire dogs (dalmations only). Ren grabs a can of "Dalmation Paint" ("What do you see, Stimpy?" "Ugly black spots." "Good! Now shut up and look stupid!") and they're hired. They go on a call and become heroes.

Nurse Stimpy

Ren gets sick and Stimpy has to nurse him back to health. Stimpy gives him a complete examination and makes him take some "All Purpose Icky Tasting Medicine". A few months later, Ren makes a miraculous recovery, but now Stimpy's sick! As Ren says, "Now it's MY turn!!"

Stimpy's Big Day
The Big Shot (Part Two of Stimpy's Big Day)

Stimpy enters a TV contest for Gritty Kitty Litter against Ren's advice. To Ren's surprise, Stimpy wins $47,000,000 & is driven off to Hollywood to guest star on the "Muddy Mudskipper Show". Ren is jealous, but after a few weeks finds he's missing Stimpy (despite seeing him on every channel on the TV). Some good cartoon spoofs (The Jetsons, Yogi Bear, and Popeye among others).

Stimpy's Invention

Stimpy invents lots of silly things and has Ren try them out. Ren is not happy with these inventions, so Stimpy makes a "Happy Helmet" to make sure Ren is never unhappy again. The result is even more psychotic than "Space Madness." Includes the now-famous "Happy Happy Joy Joy" song.

Untamed World

Vicious and excellent spoof of "Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom". [Reports from Spumco state that this one was called "Nature Show" internally]

Commander Höek and Cadet Stimpy:

Black Hole

Their space ship is sucked into a black hole. They wander around on a strange planet therein which has a mutating effect on them, discover the universe's repository for missing left socks, and miss the bus back to Jersey City. Could this be the end?

Space Madness

Our heroes are on a ridiculously long (36 year) space voyage. Being stuck in a spaceship with Stimpy could drive just about anyone nuts, but Ren totally loses it. He ends up assigning Stimpy to guard the 'History Eraser Button' with strict orders not to press it. Of course Stimpy's curiosity (not to mention a pushy announcer) gets the better of him. Could this be the end?

Marooned

Their spaceship is in trouble! It crashes on an alien planet and the boys have to rough it. More in the series of most excellent Star Trek swipes they started in "Space Madness" ("Interesting." "What is it?" "This thing [tricorder] makes some really cool noises!") They end up being eaten by alien plant life. Could THIS be the end?

Stimpy's Storybook Land:

Robin Höek

Ren as Robin Hood, Stimpy as (nearly) everyone else.

The Littlest Giant

Stimpy is the littlest giant in Hügevania. The other big, mean giants constantly abuse him (including perhaps the rawest wedgie ever shown on television), so he runs away. He happens upon Farmer Ren in Thumbsville, who is suffering from the drought hitting his town. Stimpy's tears fill the well and Ren agrees to do anything for his new, big friend. Well, almost anything. (Note: Hügevania has an umlaut over the 'u'.)

Short Stuff:

ad: High Fashion Log for Girls

Log For Girls with clothes.

ad: Little Brother

More "Blammo" toys. Do something naughty and pull his string - "I did it. You're the best sister ever."

ad: Log

Includes an excellent spoof of the Slinky song.

ad: Log For Girls

A log with makeup and hair you can comb.

ad: Powdered Toast

A breakfast treat with a superhero spokesman. (From Preemo)

The Oath

"Thousands of miles below the earth's crust," there is a secret lair where R&S hang out. While we're down there, Ren administers the Ren & Stimpy club's now famous oath.

Stimpy's Breakfast Tip

What do you do with a box of cereal with a prize at the bottom?

Yak Shaving Day

A funky holiday indeed. (The holiday eve is called "Kilted Yak Eve.")

Ask Dr. Stupid:

• Why School?
• One Hump or Two?

What'll We Do Till Then?:

• Chase Your Tail Until You're Dizzy
• Kitty Litter
• Magic Nose Goblins
• Play 'Horsey' With CrocoStimpy

Season 2:

Long stuff: Each of these is about 8 to 10 minutes.

In the Army

Our boys are somehow drafted into the army. They go through induction and then meet their drill sergeant. They spend most of their time peeling things... Happy Happy Happy... Peel Peel Peel... Almost as psychotic in points as Space Madness.

Powdered Toast Man

We had the briefest glimpse in the first season. Now we get a day in the life... He saves a kitty, the pope, R&S, the President, and the U.S. Constitution and the Bill of Rights, sort of. Guest stars Gary Owens as PTM and Frank Zappa as the Pope.

Ren's Toothache

Ren learns about oral hygiene the hard way when all his teeth fall out and even the Tooth Beaver rejects his stinky orafice. All works out ok in the end though, thanks to Stimpy.

Out West

Ren and Stimpy are desperate horse thieves in search of a hangin' at the hands of the stupidest sheriff in the west. Includes 'The Hangin' Song'.

Rubber Nipple Salesmen

Ren & Stimpy are, well, Rubber Nipple Salesmen. Stimpy invented them, of course, but he "can't sell anything! [He] can't even whiz by [him]self." The circus-midget hating fireman is back, of course, along with a strangely psychotic Mr. Horse, and Mr. & Mrs. Pipe, who get to experience the thousand-and-one uses of rubber nipples. Stimpy gets perhaps the most loaded line in the whole season.

Editor's Note: The sequence with George Liquor was cut out.

Svën Höek

Ren has invited his cousin Svën to visit. Svën is even stupider than Stimpy, so Ren feels left out when Svën wants to spend all his time with Stimpy. When Ren leaves to go to work, Svën and Stimpy play around the house (including "Don't Whiz on the Electric Fence!"). When Ren comes home and finds his stuff destroyed ("My opera records ... covered in bubble gum!"), he goes into the most psychotic rage of the season. (Note the games they look at while in the closet and that the man on the "Electric Fence" game looks like Clark Kent {also known as Superman.})

Haunted House

Our boys visit a deserted house because its "a great place to kill twelve minutes." They try out the kitchen, the bathroom, and the bedroom, just like Goldilocks and the Three Bears. A ghost, who happens to look and act like Elmer Fudd (from Looney Tunes), tries to scare them. Will he succeed in scaring Ren and Stimpy? There is a gratuitous shower scene where they try to recreate an Alfred Hitchcock tale.

Mad Dog Höek

Ever on the search for fame and fortune, Ren enters Stimpy into a tag team wrestling. Ren isn't worried about getting hurt ("The match is rigged. We're the good guys."), but Stimpy is still nervous. Things change, however, when they see their opponents, the Lout Brothers who are six feet tall and have huge pectorial muscles. Can Ren And Stimpy overcome their powerful opponents? Or will they end up like street pizza? (Notice the announcer look like "Mean" Gene Okerland from WWF wrestling.)

The Big Baby Scam

When Ren gets fed up with his rough life, he convinces Stimpy that the the easiest life in the world one of a baby's. Ren pays off twins (that look like two Baby Hermans from "Roger Rabbit."), and R&S take over. Soon after the babys leave for the race track, Mrs. Pipe comes in to see if they need a change. Eventually, Mr. Pipe comes home (with his nipples from "Rubber Nipple Salesmen") and plays with his boys. Ren begins to be jealous because Stimpy is the perfect baby for the Pipes. Before the cartoon is over, Ren and Stimpy end up taking a bath with the Pipes!

Dog Show

Mr. Horse judges an all-breed dog show which George Liquor has entered Ren & Stimpy. ("But I'm a cat," says Stimpy.) After they pass the prejudging part of the dog show (with George's fatherly help), they both are to be judged by the announcer from "Space Madness." Will Ren or Stimpy win the dog show? Will one of them become worthy of the name "Liquor" ?

Son Of Stimpy (aka "Stimpy's First Fart" or "Stimpy's First Trouser Cough" or "Have Yourself A Stinky Little Christmas")

While watching TV, Stimpy passes his first fart. After asking Ren what happened, Ren calls him an "eediot." Desperately, Stimpy goes searching for "Stinky" the fart in the house and the "Naked City." (We even get to see Stimpy talking to his "magic nose goblins" about his missing friend.) Will Stimpy find his prodigal son? Will Stimpy overcome his depression? (Stimpy must be depressed because he didn't want to watch his favorite shows, "Muddy Mudskipper" and "Commander Höek & Cadet Stimpy.") And will Ren get over the smell of this show? :)

Monkey See, Monkey Don't

Ren takes Stimpy to the zoo for the day! While they visit the elephants, Ren notices that people hand-feed the animals and starts getting jealous. So he and Stimpy to the zookeeper to join the zoo--as monkeys! You'd never want to be a monkey after you see Ren eating a vermin and "Filthy" the monkey eating lice. (First aired cartoon with Ren not being played by John K.)

Fake Dad

Ren joins the Fake Dad company and gets a 7-year-old, 700-pound convict (guilty of crimes against humanity) to babysit for the weekend. When the child gets into trouble, will Stimpy allow Ren to punish Kowalski? And will Ren survive the experience? And what is that on Kowalski's butt? (The cutest part is when R&S go on a picnic!)

The Great Outdoors

Stimpy convinces Ren to take him on a weekend camping trip. Stimpy has the best time, while Ren gets bitten by mosquitoes, burns up in a campfire, and gets Beaver Fever. And Grandpa, from "The Big Baby Scam" and "Big House Blues," is back with his wife (who's from "Fire Dogs") to join in on their camping trip and wacky antics.

The Cat Who Laid The Golden Hairball

While Stimpy takes a vacation, Ren is left all to himself. He goes looking for something to do when he finds one of Stimpy's hairballs. Ren throws a fit, but he soon changes after the price of hairballs goes up drastically. Stimpy becomes Ren's hairball slave, and soon he runs out of hairballs. Against all odds, he keeps trying so that Ren has his pectorial muscle transplants. (Some internetters say that that this is yet another episode with the allusion of the fall-out between Spumco and Nickelodeon.)

Stimpy's Fan Club

It's another boring afternoon for R&S until the mailman arrives. He brings them mounds and mounds of letters for Stimpy addressed to "Hollywood, Yugoslavia." When Ren discovers he didn't get any fan mail, Stimpy calms Ren's sadness with making him president of his fan club. After reading several dozen letters, Ren loses his mind over his jealousy of Stimpy. That night in bed, Ren plans Stimpy's murder (ala William Shakespeare's "MacBeth"), and decides to do something worse than murder. In the end, Ren gets a fan letter and a surprise. Mr. Horse, Muddy, and several other regular characters make special appearences--a plethora of VCR Freeze Frame Fun Chances.

Visit To Anthony

Ren And Stimpy visit their "biggest" fan, Anthony. Nothing exciting happens to R&S except they getting pummeled, Stimpy continuously spits up hairballs onto Ren, and Anthony catches Ren using the john and Stimpy taking a bath. Anthony's father wants R&S to take care of Anthony or they are in big trouble! With all the good material available, this cartoon doesn't make it for two reasons: blatant edit with a new scene where Ren is played by Billy West instead of John K. and the material isn't funny. (Another edit is where Father changes poses in the climax.)

The Royal Canadian Kilted Yaksmen

R&S always get their yak, and on the way, they're going to find out Canada's biggest natural resource! (A longer description will be written when it has more airplay for fear of spoilers.)

Short Stuff:

ad: Gritty Kitty Litter

Gary Owens pitches the new and improved Gritty Kitty with a free prize and Stimpy mask in every box. It aired during "The Muddy Mudskipper Show." (Note: We get to hear the Muddy Mudskipper theme again!)

ad: New Log products

A gaggle of new Log products to oogle at. From Blammo. Batteries not included. (Narrated by Gary Owens, PTM himself!)

ad: More New Log Products

If you didn't get enough of Gary Owen's new Log products, there are a plethora of new action log sets from Blammo for that special birthday boy or girl!

ad: Powdered Toast With Vitamin "F"

Gary Owens reprises his role as PTM to save the lives and health of a couple of kids. (Note: Part of the commercial uses clips from the full length PTM cartoon)

ad: Sugar Frosted Milk

Another breakfast treat. Four ounces of SFM and six ounces of cereal make a well-balanced breakfast.

ad: Sugar Sod Pops

A cereal which tastes like a freshly mowed lawn!

Ask Dr. Stupid

What have you bean?

Oath Of Servitude

Ren And Stimpy indoctrinate another member into their cult membership. (With swipes from their original "Oath" animation)

Ren Höek, Ace Reporter: "Mr. Horse Returns"

Ren asks Private Horse about his involvement in the (Persian Gulf) war.

What'll We Do Till Then?

Blow Yourself Up Like A Balloon (Billy West plays Ren on here)

World Crisis With Mr. Horse

What does Mr. Horse think of the world's situation?

Season 3:

Premiered Shows:

An Abe Divided

The worst R&S cartoon ever made. R&S get recruited to guard our Civil War President, Abraham Lincoln. After hearing a rumor of gold in Abe's head, Ren throws out all the visitors and convinces Stimpy to be his partner in crime. R&S try desperately to open up Abe's head.

Bassmasters

In this short-lived take-off of the show of the same name, Ren teaches us about his fishing habits. That is until Stimpy catches all the fish!

Circus Midgets

Desperate for a ride, R&S will accept a hitchhike with anyone. Unfortunately for R&S, they are kidnapped by psychotic circus midgets and are in for a wild ride. The RCKY whale, Kowalski, and the Fire Chief made cameo appearences.

Jiminy Lummox

Stimpy gives Ren his conscience for one day. His conscience turns out to be a lummox named Jiminy. He likes to beat up on Ren for every misdeed. Kowalski, in tights, makes a cameo appearence in this episode!

Jimmy The Belly Button Elf

Stimpy gets so obsessed with his belly button that he falls into himself and meets Jimmy The Belly Button Elf (played by Gilbert Godfrey!). While Stimpy becomes his personal slave, Ren throws a cast party. Very Psychedelic!

No Pants Today (or Stimpy: That Dirty, Little Naked Boy)

Stimpy begins an irrational fear of being nude. Ren quickly loses his temper over the matter and throws Stimpy out of the house without clothes. The rumored sequence where the bully from "Visit To Anthony" lures Stimpy into a trap using a pair of pants did air. The RCKY bear, Mr. Horse, and the Suburbanites made cameo appearences, and the final climax scene was based on "Duck Twacy."

Ren's Pecs (Pectorial Muscles)

When a new and experimental techonology for giving dogs big pectorial muscles, Ren talks Stimpy into helping him. Stimpy's buttfat is transplanted into Ren's shoulder area, and Ren becomes famous, moves to Hollywood, and forgets about Stimpy. (Isn't this the reverse of Stimpy's Big Day?) Includes more references to Kirk Douglas.

Ren's Retirement

Stimpy gives Ren a surprise for his birthday: Ren's actual age in human years--70. When Ren learns of this, he ages quickly and wants to die. Ren chooses to be buried in the most state of the art coffin with all the modern accessories of home--that is until Fred The Worm shows up. :( (Special guest star: Alan Young!! "Wilbur" himself from "Mr. Ed" and "Scrooge McDuck" from "DuckTales.")

Road Apples

Once again, R&S is stranded in the desert like Gilligan was on his island. This time, Husband and Wife pick them up in their trailer home; they think that they can abuse them by any means possible--which includes sleeping with Wilbur Cobb and going out for walks while the trailer is moving!

Stimpy's Cartoon Show

When Stimpy starts animation on his new cartoon, Ren tries to persuade him that cartoons aren't real. When Ren realizes that Stimpy was an award winner (probably for a previous cartoon), Ren gets jealous. Ren gets promoted to Producer (ala Coffey) and works Stimpy to a maddened state Once finished, Ren and Stimpy get invited to go see Wilbur Cobb, the godfather of cartoons. We also get to see Stimpy's cartoon, "In The Pink," which stars Explodey the Pup and Poopy, Explodey's girlfriend. Voices courtesy of Stimpy (Billy West). (Wilbur Cobb was supposed to be a rotting hunk of meat and mushrooms, but Nick apprently made them change him into a rotting corpse. He was a parody of Walt Disney. This whole cartoon has weird looking people that look like they came from Mortal Kombat ][. Fatality?:) (According to WCK3, Wilbur Cobb was supposed to be none-other than RAYMOND SPUM himself!)

To Salve Or Salve Not (aka To Salve Or Not To Salve) (Season 2 hold back)

Stimpy is a sucker for anything. Ren has to keep his good friend from buying from a slick "Salve" salesman. (This is a reverse of "Rubber Nipple Salesmen.") The end scene where the salesman explains why "Salve" makes great toilet tissue paper did not allow for the explanation. Thank goodness, the other explanations why salve is good for George Washington, dirty dishes, unmanageable hair, and Christopher Columbus did air. :)

A Yard To Far (Season 2 show that was held back)

Ren and Stimpy are engrossed with the plate of hog jowls sitting on the window in the neighboring yard. Loosely based on Yogi Bear's "Pie Pirates," Ren and Stimpy have one obstacle in their way to the pie: Mr. Pipe's baboon. The original monkey was supposed to be Filthy from "Monkey See, Monkey Don't." (The original snack on the plate was a "hair" pie.)

Short Stuff:

ad: Dog Water

Instead of champaigne tonight, try Dog Water. Perfect for marriage proposals. (DYN: The father is dating a "Hello Nurse!" young lady!)

ad: FLOD: The World's Perfect Cube Of Fat

Also comes in glow-in-the-dark models. Don't accept any imitations.

ad: You Are What You Eat

For Lynne Naylor's first solo cartoon, Billy the Beef Tallow Boy is introduced. He fries everything in sight--except Bill Clinton's fries to go with his Big Mac! ;)

New Shows -- SUPER SPOILERS!!!!!!:

Names in

() have no official title (truly new shows)
[] were planned by John K. for Season 3
** were originally scheduled for Season 2

[All Sluggards Day]

An inside Bob Camp joke. Probably a loser episode.

[The Big Switch]

Ren and Stimpy switch places for a day. Stimpy becomes the psychotic asshole, and Ren becomes a blithering eediot.

[The Cellulettes]

Stimpy becomes a member of an all girl group, The Celluettes. His superstardom lasts for a whole hour and includes such hits as "My Blue Chihuahua."

[Eat My Cookies]

R&S go door to door selling girlscout hairball cookies! (Didn't we do this already with Rubber Nipple Salesmen? -- Ed.)

*Man's Best Friend (Starring George Liquor)*

Our heros are in a pet shop and are bought by George Liquor. George ends up being a real life Sergeant Slaughter and treats them rough. Will R&S survive? And where did the goldfish go to? And when will it ever be aired on cable television? Has been sighted by Film Threat and Cinfantastique magazines, and it could be re-animated :(. Billy West (when he came to Miami University) said this is a real cartoon and with Nick paying $500,000 for it, it will be released eventually.

[Ren's Brain]

Stimpy becomes the Dr. Frankenstein of the cartoon world needing a good brain. In the tradition of "Stimpy's Invention," Ren becomes the perfect candidate. After Ren's brain is taken, Ren becomes a total complete eediot. R&S have lots of fun until the brain (with Ren's attitude) finds out what's going on!!

*Untamed World Two - The Lair Of The Lummox*

Marlin Höek and Jaque Stimpy goe in search of the elusive Lummox in this thirty-minute edition of "Untamed World." (Rumor has it that some of the grosser [aka better] gags have been cut.)

Rumored Cartoons (or Stimpy's Believe It Or Else):

The following are cartoons rumored about on and off the net. Whether they are true or not is for you to decide.

(If you have seen or heard of one, please send the info. to me to add.)

Hollywood Höek

Ren, in this Pay Per View Event, spends an hour and a half to explain how he got into show business. In the last half hour, it includes "Son Of Stimpy". There has only been people from alt.tv.ren-n-stimpy who has seen this, but there is no mention about in any national publications that I've read.

Nick Sayer <mrapple@quack.sac.ca.us> | "Now we can talk to cheese
N6QQQ @ N0ARY.#NOCAL.CA.USA.NOAM     | anywhere in the world, regardless
37 19 49 N / 121 57 36 W             | of their foreign tongues!"
+1 408 249 9630, log in as 'guest'   |          -- Stimpy


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