Subject: REVIEW: BARB WIRE (1996)

From: [email-masked] (Paul-Michael Agapow)
Date: 3 Jun 1997 16:38:35 GMT

BARB WIRE
                       A film review by Paul-Michael Agapow
                        Copyright 1997 Paul-Michael Agapow

An adaptation of the comic of the same name: It is the 2nd
American Civil War, with the rebels fighting the brutal
Congressionalists.  In the neutral city of Steel Harbour is a
club run by the mercenary Barb Wire (Anderson).  To the city come
the rebels Axel Hood (Morrison) and Cora D (Rowell), who need to
escape to neutral Canada, the Congressionalists hard on their
heels.  But Axel and Barb have a history together ...

... and where better to find a way out of the country than at
Rick's Cafe Americaine, where anything can be bought or sold,
even the corrupt Inspector Renault?  Yes, it's "Casablanca" but
this remake was aided by modern technology and a few search and
replace expressions:

   s/Casablanca/Steel Harbour/;
   s/Rick Blaine/Barb Wire/;
   s/Ilsa Lunt/Axel Hood/;
   s/Victor Lazlo/Dr Cora D/;
   s/the fat man/the fat man/;
   s/papers of transit/retinal lens/;
   s/the train from Paris/the helicopter from Seattle/;
   s/"As Time Goes By"/generic thrash/;
   s/piano-playing black sidekick/butler-like German sidekick/;
   s/Nazis/Congressionalists/;
   s/cult classic/nork fest/;

There are differences, such as the regrettable absence of
Ugarte.  (Was Pee-Wee Herman busy that week?)  Also regrettable
is the fact that Morrison affects an American accent instead of
his native New Zealand-ish: "Bub Ware!  You've gut to hulp us!".
Cora D is no Victor Lazlo, so it comes as no surprise that
Axel/Ilsa is helping her not for any leadership skills but for an
antidote she has coded in her DNA (an apparent side-effect being
atrophy of the charisma gland).  Steve Railsback, once a
promising actor, demonstrates his career has gone straight to
hell with his portrayal of the frothing Colonel Pryzer.  Quick
trivia: the bouncer at Barb's club is played by Tom "Tiny" Lister
Jr., who is also the President in "The Fifth Element".

The big surprise is everyone's favourite silicon based
lifeform, Pamela Anderson.  A walking cartoon character herself,
she shows a reasonable skill and style as an action star which is
used to effect in the first half of the film.  A four-colour
nightmare in leather and high-heels, her targets die as much from
her bullets and kicks as they do from amazement at the tensile
properties of modern fabrics.  Regrettably as the "Casablanca"
theme emerges, the energy starts to slowly leave the film.  An
even bigger blunder is the replacement of the end of "Casablanca"
with a generic action sequence, with Barb roaring offscreen on
her motorcycle as Axel goes mano a mano with the
Congressionalists.  (Picture Rick Blaine saying: "Ilsa, here's a
gun.  Go and pop some Nazis.  I'm just going to check down the
back of the club ...")

>From a modestly promising start, "Barb Wire" heads slowly off
course and into blandness.  Nonetheless it might make acceptable
if undemanding video fodder, and Anderson's next film may prove
interesting.  [*/misfire] and lime green as a fashion statement
on the Sid and Nancy scale.

"Barb Wire"
Starring Pamela Anderson, Temuera Morrison, Victoria Rowell, Udo Kier,
Steve Railsback.
Released 1996.

------
paul-michael agapow ([email-masked]), La Trobe Uni, Infocalypse
[archived at http://www.cs.latrobe.edu.au/~agapow/Postviews/]