Subject: Review: Battlefield Earth (2000)

From: Homer Yen <[email-masked]>
Date: 18 May 2000 17:54:59 GMT

A “Battle” to Avoid
by Homer Yen
(c) 2000

To watch “Battlefield Earth” is to wallow in misery. 
It is one of the most ludicrously conceived efforts in
recent history.  It has a clumsily told story, insipid
dialogue, shallow characterizations, ugly scene
transitions, no evidence of dramatic arc,
headache-inducing sound effects, and a resolution that
is completely implausible.  Worse, there’s the promise
of a sequel.  Why?!  Save your money.  Some films go
quickly to video.  This one, however, should go
straight to the Sci-Fi Channel’s “Mystery Science
Theatre.”

In the year 3000, Man has become an endangered
species.  Most of humanity (called ‘man-animals’) was
destroyed generations ago in a battle against a race
of plundering aliens (called Psychlos).  Survivors
have either taken up shelter in caves or were enslaved
to mine Earth’s resources for the rest of their lives.

The aliens are a menacing looking humanoid species
that stand nine-feet tall, who resemble inbred
Klingons.  Dimwitted as they are tall, their culture
is predicated on power, extortion, and getting
‘leverage.’  Travolta, the leverage-using star, plays
Terl, the conniving security chief that oversees the
mining facility on Earth.  Much of the movie is spent
showing us examples of Terl’s petty machinations.  He
routinely employs deception and then punctuates his
statements with maniacal laughter.  But one thing is
certain; he hates being stationed on Earth.  When the
home planet informs him that he will be spending the
rest of his life on this planet, he begins to devise
his latest plan.

He will select a group of slaves to secretly mine out
a gold ore site.  It’s not clear how this benefits
Terl, except that it makes him richer in a place where
he has no use for it.  The scrappy Jonnie Goodboy
Tyler (Barry Peppers) is selected as the slave group’s
leader.  A Psychlo knowledge machine gives him the
mining know-how.  But the machine also teaches him
other things such as the Psychlo language, the
principles of our founding fathers, Euclidean
geometry, and the location of Fort Knox.  This
enlightenment just doesn’t prepare him for the mining
assignment.  It also prepares him to organize and
stage a massive revolt against their captors.  “We’re
going to blow up their home world,” he says.  “But
first, we need a few more supplies.”  In days, he and
his comrades evolve from cave dwelling, loincloth
wearing, rat eating slaves to fighter pilots and
nuclear weapons experts.  By now, the audience is
laughing as maniacally as Terl.

The media have been working overtime to let the public
know that John Travolta’s labor of love is a piece of
sci-fi drivel.  Numerous journals have called it an
ill-conceived idea stemming from blind hubris,
arrogance, and poor planning.   And after watching
this movie, you’ll wholeheartedly agree.  This is a
terrible film that is illogically constructed,
tediously acted, and frequently begs the question: Why
was this ever made?   At a price tag of $90 million,
this film will be remembered as a gigantic folly,
assuredly becoming “The Avengers” of this summer. 
Both films were unforgivable and this promises to
suffer the same speedy fate and subsequent indignity. 

In addition to the universally pejorative reviews,
there’s another bizarre element to the “Battlefield”
saga.  This film would never have been made if not for
the star power of Travolta, who for over a decade, had
been trying to persuade studios to bring the story to
the big screen.  The controversy is that Travolta is a
Scientologist, and “Battlefield” is based on a 1982
novel by L. Ron Hubbard, the religion’s late founder. 
This led some to believe that “Battlefield Earth”
would amount to Scientologist dogma, laden with
subliminal messages.  But the story is so poorly told
that any message, subliminal or otherwise, is totally
undetectable.  If the audience got anything out of
this film, it was this: we are not too unlike the
Psychlo leader.  Like Terl, the audience felt
imprisoned, dreaded their situation, and looked for
any opportunity to leave.  Could that be the
Scientology message?

Grade: D

S: 1	out of 3
L: 0	out of 3
V: 2	out of 3

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