Subject: Review: Battlefield: Earth (2000)

From: [email-masked] (Brandon Herring)
Date: 26 May 2000 18:40:52 GMT

Zero Stars out of * * * *

Rated PG-13: Sci-fi action, violence, language.

Starring: John Travolta, Barry Pepper, Forest Whitaker.

Directed by: Roger Christianson

Running Tim: 127 minutes.

So I went and saw this film right, it was called "Battlefield: Earth", I was
never interested in the previews, and never too terribly interested in the
book, nor do I find scientology interesting, but after reading advanced reviews
of how bad this film really is, I had that weird urge just to watch it. Well
let me be the first to say, and so far in my view it's safe to say:
Battlefield: Earth might be the worst film I have ever seen, yes even worse
than "Mr. Magoo", "Blue In The Face", or "Jaws: The Revenge".
Roger Christianson whos credits include set direction, and art direction for
such great films as "Alien" and "Star Wars", directs this film with such
amateurism, that the film looks and feels and in fact sounds so dumb, that it's
quite depressing. The look of the film, is dark and drabby at times, but then
bright and happy at other times. The sound is terrible, and has the worst
surround sound effects I've heard. The acting is nothing, the dialogue poor,
and the make-up effects hideous.

Here's the so-called plot: Earth 3000....man is a endangered species, while
aliens from the planet Psychlo (the aliens are named Psychlo...I wonder why?!)
are invading Earth, destined to put an end to those "man-animals" to an end,
and destroy Earth once and for all, of course we have our typical hero (played
terrible by Barry Pepper, who was great in a small role in 1999's "The Green
Mile") who is destined to go out, and save his planet! One thing: he has to go
up against, Terl, the chief of security Psychlo, who is played frankly, quite
bad by John Travolta, whom with dreadlocks, a big head, and green eyes just
doesn't work. Of course the sidekick to Terl, is played by (LOL!!) Forest
Whitaker, who looks like a deformed werewolf of some kind. Our friendly human
Johnny (Barry Pepper) looks just as bad as well, with long scraggly hair.

I'm not really sure how to quite explain the badness of this film, except just
to say it's terrible. Everything in this film is imcomprehinsable, from the
make-up effects, which by the way aren't good, to the phony looking special
effects, everything in this film is faulted. In fact I don't remember one part
in this entire movie where I was having a good time, or enjoying myself. In
fact there is no part in the movie that I liked or enjoyed. Throughout the
entire 127 minute running time, I was dying, constantly looking at my watch,
and hoping maybe the projectioner would blow a bulb or something, sadly it
didn't.
My advice to Hollywood: Get new scripts, new acting classes, better directors
and damnit, make films like American Beauty More.

Reviewed by Brandon Herring 5/12/00.
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