

Remember when Robin Williams only wanted to make us laugh? If
you're not already nostalgic for those long-gone days, you will be after
sitting through "Bicentennial Man," Williams' latest foray into
saccharine cinema. Those who weep over phone commercials or get a catch
in the throat just thinking about Valentines Day might not mind slogging
through this epic tale of a robot's quest to become human. Everyone else
will emerge from "Bicentennial" feeling about 200 years older than they
were when they went in.
     Thanks to vehicles such as "Toys," "Jack," "Jakob the Liar" and
last Christmas' "Patch Adams," Williams has now officially become the
Emmett Kelly Jr. of 1990s cinema, a clown who won't stop until your
chuckles are tinged with tears. The actor who once did such a fine job
of straddling the worlds of comedy and drama in "Good Morning Vietnam,"
"Dead Poets Society" and "The World According to Garp" has almost
disappeared completely, and in his place is a hollow, perpetually
misty-eyed impostor who's only interested in playing misunderstood
saints victimized and persecuted by the cruel, cruel world. At the rate
he's going, Williams will soon be starring in "The Michael Jackson
Story."
     In "Bicentennial," inspired by Isaac Asimov's "The Positronic Man,"
Williams plays Andrew, an unusually sensitive and sentimental android
who starts his life as a servant in the household of Richard Martin (Sam
Neill) and his family and eventually embarks on a journey of
self-discovery that spans from 2005 to 2205. Director Chris Columbus
starts the film off as a corny but watchable sitcom and swings into
"Forrest Gump" territory for the slightly more serious middle stretch.
     Andrew's fascination with humanity, his talent for woodworking and
his appreciation of opera mark him as something more than just a
run-of-the-mill robot, but the small-minded folk of the future refuse to
accept him as a real man because of his "positronic brain." Can Andrew
ever transcend his factory origins and become a real live love machine
in time to win the heart of his mortal girlfriend (Embeth Davidtz)?
Since Columbus pulls all the stops out in the last 45 minutes, getting
to the answer requires swallowing more syrup than you'd find in the
best-stocked International House of Pancakes.
     "Bicentennial Man" has some sharp special effects, a handful of
imaginative fashions of the future and a handful of genuinely funny
jokes that are vintage Williams. Unfortunately, Columbus and Williams
are so resolutely determined to melt your heart, they finally resort to
using the cinematic equivalent of a flame-thrower. The largely
undramatic story drags on and on to a foregone conclusion, and the
movie's worthwhile moments are quickly forgotten as Williams turns on
the waterworks, Davidtz struggles to look longingly into his oozing eyes
and Celine Dion (sounding more than a little robotic herself) wails
another of her sterile love themes over the closing credits. James
Sanford