From rec.arts.sf-reviews Fri Aug 9 11:59:02 1991 Xref: herkules.sssab.se rec.arts.movies.reviews:405 rec.arts.sf-reviews:51 Path: herkules.sssab.se!isy!liuida!sunic!mcsun!uunet!iggy.GW.Vitalink.COM!pacbell.com!att!att!cbnewsk!cbnewsj!ecl From: baumgart@esquire.dpw.com (The Phantom) Newsgroups: rec.arts.movies.reviews,rec.arts.sf-reviews Subject: REVIEW: BODY PARTS Summary: r.a.m.r. #01095 Keywords: author=Phantom Message-ID: <1991Aug8.140406.13924@cbnewsj.cb.att.com> Date: 8 Aug 91 14:04:06 GMT Expires: Thu, 5 Sep 1991 13:00:00 GMT Sender: ecl@cbnewsj.cb.att.com (Evelyn C. Leeper) Reply-To: baumgart@esquire.dpw.com (The Phantom) Followup-To: rec.arts.movies Organization: Davis Polk & Wardwell Lines: 170 Approved: ecl@cbnewsj.att.com [Followups directed to rec.arts.movies.] BODY PARTS A review in the public domain by The Phantom (baumgart@esquire.dpw.com) BODY PARTS ends this summer's horror drought, but what we horror phans get is less a downpour than a light summer drizzle. Summertime is traditionally a slow time for horror films -- the industry assumes that folks would rather see people killed and dismembered by heroes than serial killers and so serves up T2 and other such wholesome fare -- and we phans don't usually get something to sink our fangs into until late August or early September. This year, however, we have an early entry that provides a much-needed counterpoint to the seemingly endless stream of moralizing that's being churned out of Hollywood this summer. With all these films about nasty and greedy eighties types getting rehabilitated into caring and feeling Kevin Costner clones, the Phantom has been more than a little worried that two of his favorite eighties holdovers -- Freddy and Chucky, both due for a return appearance next month -- will similarly renounce their selfish and destructive ways and learn to center themselves in the universe and live in peace with those around them. So it was with high hopes that the Phantom bought his popcorn and settled his Nikes into the newly resurfaced floor of the Embassy 2 theater in the heart of New York's own living reason to regret the eighties, Times Square. (The Great White Way was the centerpiece of some misguided "urban renewal" that the plunging stock and real estate markets soon put an end to. In fact, the Embassy is situated right next to an empty and unfinished 50-story skyscraper owned by a bankrupt developer, repossessed by a bankrupt bank, and now serving as lighthouse for those foolhardy enough to sail the troubled seas of New York's real estate market.) Alas, the floor of the Embassy commanded the Phantom's attention far more than did the film; and there's no doubt that it will stick with him far longer. BODY PARTS is a film that turns out to be all too true to its name. Starting with the credits, which are each assembled from bits and pieces of previous credits; to the plot, which appears to have been pasted together from two or three different films; to the dialogue, which can only be described as unspeakable; BODY PARTS feels a lot like there was a mix-up of sorts at Paramount while they were working on FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 14: THE SORRY AFTERMATH. Somehow or other, the editors managed to splice a good bit of an exceedingly average Tales >From the Darkside with some of Jason's outtakes. Instead of wrapping the result with twine and putting it out on the curb for that week's celluloid recycling pickup, someone decided to make the most of it and make a movie of it. High on the Phantom's Christmas list for Paramount is two or three extra balls of twine and a sharp pair of scissors so that this sort of thing never happens again. After all, one can never have too much twine or too many pairs of scissors. The saddest part of all this is that there really haven't been many (any?) good "medical-experiment-gone-awry" horror films. Nor have there been a surfeit of "limbs-with-minds-of-their-own" films, though at least Oliver Stone gave it a go in 1981 with his rather loopy horror film, THE HAND. On the other hand (sorry, couldn't resist), there have been many too many horror films that fail to deliver more than bottom-of-the-barrel slash and trash thrills. After all, such films require more special effects and Spring-Loaded Cats than they do directorial skill or originality, and we all know which is easier to come by. Yet the premise of BODY PARTS is so promising, and its suspiciously early release date -- so ghoulishly close to the discovery of some very nasty business in Milwaukee -- almost insures a certain amount of prurient public interest in the subject. So why does it seem that the makers of BODY PARTS did all they could to keep their film from the terrible taint of originality or interest? The bare bones of the story, after all, hold great promise. Bill Chrushank is a mild-mannered psychiatrist who spends his days trying to understand the psychology of inmates on death row and his nights with his beautiful wife, his beautiful kids, and his gorgeous house in the idyllic suburbs (as Vincent Canby of the New York Times puts it, "the Chrushanks, at least in movie terms, might as well have bull's-eyes on their backs."). Sure enough, one fine morning he makes the near-fatal mistake of paying more attention to his work as he navigates a crowded highway than he does to his seat-belt or the car in front of him and its rather loose and unreliable-looking rear wheel. Sure enough, tragedy strikes, and his wife is informed at the hospital that although he will live, his right arm could not be saved. And sure enough, through a miracle of modern science and movie coincidence, another right arm is available and can be grafted onto Bill's body the moment his wife signs at the dotted line (the contract she signs presumably indemnifies the filmmakers should Bill's right arm decide to review the film). There's only one problem, however: Bill's right arm originally belonged to a brutal murderer who was just put to death. Once Bill recovers the fun starts. It seems that Bill suffers from terrible nightmares and that his arm doesn't always do what he wants it to do -- or does it? One of the great tragedies of BODY PARTS is that such an interesting question is quickly cast aside, the better to make way for the unoriginal and uninteresting antics that comprise the film's second half. What a terrible waste, though, for by ignoring that simple and subtle proposition -- that since the arm can't do anything that Bill doesn't want it to, perhaps Bill the mild-mannered psychiatrist is in fact Bill the homicidal killer -- the filmmakers also manage to ignore the one aspect of their story that could lift BODY PARTS from the ranks of the banal and the inept and place it among the true classics of the genre. (Phans who want a taste of what BODY PARTS might have been had it been more ably handled should rent BRAIN DEAD, a classic is-he-or-isn't-he tale of psychological horror.) Instead, it becomes apparent very early on that Bill's arm does, in fact, act on its own -- that it is still, in some way, under the control of its original owner. To be honest, it doesn't even do all that much -- after all, since it's still attached to Bill (unlike Michael Caine's severed hand in THE HAND), the most it could legitimately do is cut Bill while he shaves in the morning or strangle his wife while he sleeps at night. A film based on such restricted mayhem would be even less interesting than is BODY PARTS, and in fact BODY PARTS ends up focusing less on Bill and his arm and more on what happened to the rest of the executed killer's various parts. As it happens, his other arm and both of his legs turn up, each attached to another lucky accident victim. (There were more than a few snide remarks passed through the largely uninvolved audience at the Embassy about certain other of the killer's parts and what they might be up to, but we'll leave those speculations for BODY PARTS 2, or perhaps PARTY BODS 2, a film that would at least be able to generate more audience involvement than the one presently being reviewed.) It gives nothing away to say that these poor folks also might just as well have had bull's-eyes on their backs, for they all but wear red shirts (in the classic security-guard-marked-for-death Star Trek tradition) in the film. Fortunately, one of the lucky organ recipients is Brad Dourif, who does what he can to enliven the otherwise leaden proceedings around him. Unfortunately, we are graced by his lunatic presence for only about 20 minutes or so during the exceedingly average Tales From the Darkside section of the film. (The Phantom is, however, heartened by the thought that Mr. Dourif will be back next month as the voice of Chucky in CHILD'S PLAY 3.) Of course, once the film acknowledges the fact that the strange goings-on are neither in Bill's mind nor caused by either of his arms, BODY PARTS gets seriously bogged down and the filmmakers, with a slight air of desperation, resort to sweeping the cutting room floor for inspiration. So in short order we're treated to bits and pieces of THE STEPFATHER, some operating room hacking and sawing, a couple of Jasonized killings, and the aforementioned bit from an exceedingly average Tales From the Darkside episode. Alas, the whole in this case doesn't equal the sum of its parts -- body or otherwise -- and as the filmmakers finally settle on a truly loopy ending involving an evil doctor and some serious malpractice, the audience comes to realize that if anyone's arm was going to be cut off, it should have been the writer's. Having said all this, the Phantom should add that BODY PARTS isn't all bad, even if it is mostly dumb. To its credit, it has been graced with good direction and excellent editing, both of which insure that the film can get down to its terminally silly plot with a minimum of wasted time and effort. The film's score, as well, is excellent, and it goes a long way toward establishing an appropriately chilling mood throughout the film and during its (very) few scary scenes. Without the talented direction, editing, and music, BODY PARTS would be all but unbearable. As it is, it is merely inept and unoriginal, a film that wastes a perfectly good story idea on a perfectly ordinary script. Much of the Phantom's negative reaction to this film is his knowledge that in surer and more able hands, BODY PARTS could have been so much better than it is. As it stands, the film needs both intelligence and and originality transplants, and horror-starved phans would do well to avoid this film until it reaches their local Blockbusters this winter. About the only reason to go see BODY PARTS now is to be sure to see the latest preview for the upcoming ADDAMS FAMILY film; sadly enough, the first 30 seconds of this preview are scarier, more entertaining and more involving than the whole of the feature film that follows. : The Phantom : baumgart@esquire.dpw.com : {cmcl2,uunet}!esquire!baumgart