Subject: Review: Men in Black II (2002)

From: Karina Montgomery <[email-masked]>
Date: Thu, 11 Jul 2002 04:23:58 -0000

Men in Black II 

Catch the Network Premiere 

I knew I wouldn't like this film; I didn't particularly like the 
first one, and even though Will Smith has proven himself to be genial 
and likable, with good comedic timing and a fun attitude in films, I 
can't stand this franchise.  I went in with low expectations, but 
expected to enjoy the effects, the singing dog, and perhaps some Will 
Smith-style banter.  Let me assure you right now, every watchable 
aspect of this film save one is in the preview, so if you have seen 
the preview, you have seen literally every funny moment.  OK, there 
is one extended line after the subway scene that made me grin, but it 
wasn't enough to warrant a full film viewing.  Even with Patrick 
Warburton making a senseless appearance. 

The one "hidden" watchable aspect is a small scene involving Tony 
Shaloub as an alien shopkeeper with a just-off human appearance that 
is interesting to look at, and Shaloub could make almost anything 
funny with his delivery.  So if you are a die hard Tony Shaloub fan, 
wait until this dreck makes it to the small screen and he's somewhere 
in the middle.  David Cross shows up for a few seconds, but all that 
made me want to do is buy the Mr. Show DVD. 

Tommy Lee Jones, decreasingly interesting since The Fugitive, 
apparently faxed a likeness of himself to the set and had his 
assistant work the image like a puppet while a grip read the 
dialogue.  This is a Harvard graduate from the heyday of the Harvard 
Lampoon, working with the funny and charming Will Smith and the 
generally reliable Rip Torn.  Torn appears to be recoiling from the 
camera, as if even he cannot believe he is in this film.  When are 
the Larry Sanders episodes going to be released on DVD in full so he 
can live off those residuals instead of this kind of whoredom?  Smith 
himself appears a little pained but, trooper that he is, he is giving 
this movie his all.  He has energy and enthusiasm and timing but 
nothing - nothing at all - to work with. 

You know the preview scenes of the talking dog?  The dog serves no 
purpose.  He shows up, talks a little canine-alien smack, and then is 
removed from the story.  He has little comedic value (and the 
potential of a Dog in Black is at least wider than zero) and little 
narrative use.  Johnny Knoxville is an abrasive two headed alien 
whose sole function is to allow director Barry Sonnenfeld the 
opportunity to work with the technical challenge of two-headed 
dialogue with one actor.  Knoxville also serves no apparent purpose, 
since his snaky second head's admitted pseudo-comedic potential is 
not even touched upon.  Neither do trippy cameos by Martha Stewart 
and Michael "King of Pop" Jackson. 

Lara Flynn Boyle is an alien in the body of a lingerie model, and 
even the simple concept of using sexuality to lure/kill/whatever 
isn't approached.  There are no carryovers from the first movie 
besides the font of the opening credits, no comedy, no depth, and no 
action.  Will Smith wrestles his way out of a conveniently cushioning 
pile of plastic tubing, which could have been funny, if it wasn't so 
annoying.  I give it Catch It On Network TV instead of Avoid at All 
Costs because there isn't even enough here to offend, much less 
revile/avoid.  And the subway scene ending and Tony Shaloub are worth 
50 cents admission. 

-- 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
These reviews (c) 2002 Karina Montgomery.  Please feel free to forward 
but just credit the reviewer in the text.  Thanks. 
[email-masked] 
Check out previous reviews at: 
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