Subject: Review: Men in Black II (2002)

From: Homer Yen <[email-masked]>
Date: Tue, 09 Jul 2002 06:09:03 -0000

"Men in Black II" – New Hotness?  No, it's Old 
and Busted 
by Homer Yen 
(c) 2002 

Note to the filmmakers of "Men in Black II": If 
fans of a franchise film are going to wait five 
long years for a studio to create a sequel, 
please make it worth the wait.  Sure, it's always 
nice to see the Marine-like demeanor of Tommy Lee 
Jones and the smooth movements of Will Smith. 
But, they are trapped in a lousy vehicle that 
isn't even one-tenth as cool as the Mercedes that 
they drive around.  It lacks zip, offers no 
memorable dialogue, and is quite short on 
entertaining moments (although the reference to 
Michael Jackson as an alien was funny).  You 
would think that after all this time, the 
filmmakers could come up with something more 
substantial than this piece of uninteresting 
fluff, which barely clocks in at 90 minutes. 

In the original "Men in Black," we met up with 
agents Kay (Jones) and Jay (Smith) who worked as 
part of a secret society of protectors that 
guarded the Earth against evil aliens.  Again, 
Jones and Smith return to reprise their parts, 
bringing their individual and likeable charisma 
to the screen.  And the film wisely plays up 
their juxtaposed personalities for a few laughs. 
Kay is a straight shooter and all no-nonsense in 
his approach.  Jay is a bit more liberal and even 
forgets to 'deneuralize' a witness because of her 
good looks.  This is a no-no, for no one can know 
of the existence of the Men in Black.  Another 
droll addition is a talking dog (voiced by Tim 
Blaney) that offers running commentary as Kay and 
Jay face their next test as guardians of Earth. 

An extraterrestrial bounty hunter (Lara Flynn 
Boyle) comes in search of a device, supposedly 
hidden on Earth, that gives the possessor 
tremendous power.  The bounty hunter is a 
multi-tentacled creature that can devour a person 
whole.  It looks menacing in its natural form and 
sexy in its morphed form as a hottie female, but 
her role basically consists of repeating the line 
"give me the Light of Zertha or else" while 
threatening the victim with bodily harm.  So, 
it's up to Kay and Jay to figure out what the 
Light of Zertha is and to save the world. 

There are three major problems with this film. 
First, virtually nothing captivates our interest. 
 Drama is noticeably missing from this film, 
which decides to concentrate on talking dogs and 
fanciful aliens.  Yes, it's imaginative in 
several areas.  There are some interesting alien 
beings and the civilization within a locker was 
unique.  Yet, many of the effects, such as the 
two-headed alien and the subway worm looked cheap 
and obvious.  Second, what might have been really 
funny was severely diminished by the heavy 
advertising in advance of the film.  All the best 
moments and the best lines have been revealed in 
the trailers.  Finally, for those that have seen 
the first film, there is a strong sense of 
been-there-done-that.  The first film offered 
novel and unexpected ideas.  This one seems like 
a rehash of the first one with slightly more 
ambitious effects and more big guns.  "Men in 
Black II" is ultimately painless but unnecessary. 
 And after it's done, you'll wish that they had 
flashed you with the deneuralizer on your way out 
to make you forget what you had seen. 

Grade:  C 

S:      1 out of 3 
L:      0 out of 3 
V:      1 out of 3

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X-RAMR-ID: 32250
X-Language: en
X-RT-ReviewID: 734727
X-RT-TitleID: 1114604
X-RT-AuthorID: 1370
X-RT-RatingText: C