Subject: RETROSPECTIVE: QUEEN OF OUTER SPACE (1958)

From: [email-masked] (Steve Rhodes)
Date: 25 Nov 1996 19:01:58 GMT

QUEEN OF OUTER SPACE
                       A film review by Steve Rhodes
                        Copyright 1996 Steve Rhodes

RATING (0 TO ****):  ***

     Some movies are so bad, they are good.  So it is with classic
B movie director Edward Bernds's QUEEN OF OUTER SPACE (1958) staring
that memorable Hollywood celebrity Zsa Zsa Gabor.

     Although you may not recall the name Edward Bernds, he, like Ed
Wood (PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE), made low budget schlock pictures (THE
THREE STOOGES IN ORBIT, HIGH SCHOOL HELLCATS, and THE BOWERY BOYS MEET
THE MONSTERS).  Unlike Ed Wood, his movies have a bit more polished
look.

     QUEEN OF OUTER SPACE is a parody of science fiction films.
Whether it meant to be so at the time is another question.  The dialog
by Charles Beaumont (based on a story by Ben Hecht) is so totally
ridiculous that it had the audience at San Jose's Towne Theater in
stitches.  I thought the guy in front of me was going to make himself
sick he was laughing so hard.

     Four American astronauts, Eric Fleming (Gil Favor in TV's
"Rawhide") as Capt. Neal Patterson, Dave Willock as Lt. Mike Cruze,
Patrick Waltz as Lt. Larry Turner, and Paul Birch as Prof. Konrad, are
on their way to Venus when a mysterious ray causes them to crash into
the planet.  Once there, they find the planet is inhabited by nothing
but women.  Hey, this is Venus remember.  You know, Goddess of Love and
all that.

     The costumes by Irene Caine and Thomas Pierce are the piece de
resistance of the picture.  The earthmen have boring padded blue space
suits, but, ah, the Venusian women.  They all wear brightly colored
micro-miniskirts, low cut tops, and high heeled shoes that appear to be
made of cellophane.  Only Queen Yllana (Laurie Mitchell) dresses
differently preferring skintight silver petal pushers instead of
skirts.  The queen also wears a mask, which appears to have been
borrowed from a Greek tragedy that was being made in the next studio.

     The casting of the film was its other success.  Bernds seems bent
on finding people without any talent.  Proof of acting ability would
probably have been sufficient prima facie evidence to disqualify them
for QUEEN OF OUTER SPACE.  The women did have to meet a single
qualification -- attractive legs.

     Soon after the earthlings arrive, they are seized by the women.
The men are portrayed as nincompoops who utter one insulting sexist
phrase after another.  Typical is Lt. Turner's question of his
captures, "Why don't you girls knock off all this Gestapo stuff and try
to be a little friendly."  Later, he can not believe they could have
invented the ray gun and "even if they invented it, how could they
drive it.  You know how women drivers are."

     The more I watched the film, the more I became convinced that
there would soon be a remake of it.  I kept seeing director Renny
Harlin remaking it with his wife Geena Davis playing a slightly tougher
version of the Zsa Zsa Gabor character.  For the astronauts I thought
Tom Hanks would be good for the Captain's role since he is smartest of
a dumb lot.

     The sets are hokey and constructed with bright and gaudy colors.
The "Beta Disintegrater" looks like something a kindergarten class
might put together.  The print of the film is a fresh one with strong
color rendition.  It is in surprisingly excellent shape.

     Eventually, a renegade group lead by Talleah (Gabor) comes to the
aid of the earthmen.  Lt. Turner welcomes them with, "Hi ya, dolls.
Glad to hear you're on our side."

     After the queen is overthrown, the men's Base Commander (Gerry
Gaylor) tells them from earth that, "I know you men are anxious to
return home, but you must endure your privations and hardships" for a
few more years until a rescue mission can be sent.  The men are too
busy enjoying being outnumbered to ever want to return.

     My favorite in the film has to be Zsa Zsa.  She is a hoot.

     Just so long as you can get into the spirit of the parody, this is
one funny show.  Sort of the AIRPORT of the time.

     QUEEN OF OUTER SPACE runs just 1:20.  It is not rated but would be
PG.  There is no sex, nudity, bad language, or violence other than
people vanishing when shot with ray guns.  There are numerous hot
kisses.  I suspect kids would have to be ten or so to enjoy the
picture.  I expected to hate the film, but instead found myself
laughing hard and often.  I recommend this spoof to you and award
it ***.

______________________________________________________________________
**** = One of the top few films of this or any year.  A must see film.
***  = Excellent show.  Look for it.
**   = Average movie.  Kind of enjoyable.
*    = Poor show.  Don't waste your money.
0    = One of the worst films of this or any year.  Totally unbearable.

REVIEW WRITTEN ON: November 24, 1996

Opinions expressed are mine and not meant to reflect my employer's.