Subject: REVIEW: TANK GIRL

From: [email-masked]
Date: Sun, 2 Apr 1995 16:20:07 GMT

TANK GIRL
		       A film review by V. G. Howard
			Copyright 1995 V. G. Howard

You *know* the movie you're about to see sucks when...
 
1) The theater isn't near full for a *free* preview screening.

2) One of the movie trailers shown is for an upcoming Chuck Norris
	film in which he plays a cop--who's partnered with a clever
	dog.  (Some guy in the audience shouted, "Hey!  Didn't they
	already make this movie ...  *twice*??!"
 
3) All the music played throughout the movie sounds like the
        soundtrack from one of those crap-ola movies that Gilbert
	Godfrey runs on the USA Network ... and the songs are from
	well-regarded artists like L7 and Bjork!
 
     I have to give Lori Petty some credit, she did the best she could
with a role she was never meant to play.  Malcolm MacDowell was once
again playing his generic sci-fi bad guy role.  He looked like he came
right from the Star Trek Generations set and was on his way to do the
Wing Commander III CD.  My God, can't this guy play any other
character??

     And I'm not even going to go into the movie's erratic editing and
bizarre use of animation and art from the comic book (at first, it
would seem this was done for artsy purposes, but it actually feels like
they ran out of money for SFX and spliced in animations).

     Naomi Watts as Jet Girl was cool, and she was the only thing
decent about the movie.  I have to agree with comments on the Net that
if not Emily Lloyd, Drew Barrymore would've been great as Tank Girl, as
well as Claire Danes for the part of Jet.

     At the end of the preview, a guy said loudly, "Well, Honey, that
certainly SUCKED."

     So, gang, save your $$$ this weekend for something more
worthwhile.  Like, say, food.  Catch TANK GIRL at the $1 theater.

You've been warned.