From rec.arts.sf.reviews Thu Aug 10 14:11:25 1995 Newsgroups: rec.arts.movies.reviews,rec.arts.sf.reviews Path: news.ifm.liu.se!liuida!sunic!sunic.sunet.se!newsfeed.tip.net!tott.powertech.no!nntp-oslo.UNINETT.no!nntp-trd.UNINETT.no!Norway.EU.net!EU.net!howland.reston.ans.net!nntp.crl.com!pacbell.com!gw2.att.com!nntpa!not-for-mail From: null@utxvms.cc.utexas.edu (Christopher Null) Subject: REVIEW: WATERWORLD Message-ID: Followup-To: rec.arts.movies.current-films,rec.arts.sf.movies Summary: r.a.m.r. #03872 Originator: ecl@mtgp003 Keywords: author=Null Sender: ecl@mtgpfs2.att.com (Evelyn C. Leeper) Nntp-Posting-Host: mtgp003.mt.att.com Reply-To: null@utxvms.cc.utexas.edu (Christopher Null) Organization: Null Publishing Co. Date: Fri, 28 Jul 1995 14:23:48 GMT Approved: ecl@mtgpfs2.att.com Lines: 56 Xref: news.ifm.liu.se rec.arts.movies.reviews:3274 rec.arts.sf.reviews:824 WATERWORLD A film review by Christopher Null Copyright 1995 Christopher Null In the future, the polar ice caps have melted, the world is covered by water, and everyone is left to fend for themselves as scavengers in a grim reality. This is WATERWORLD, and you'll be glad to know: even in this harsh realm, the women still shave their legs. The most expensive movie ever made (the final word is $172 million), WATERWORLD will be a true monument in Kevin Costner's career. Unfortunately, this film isn't going to have quite the effect something like DANCES WITH WOLVES had. The bottom line is WATERWORLD is a marginal film: always extravagant, sometimes entertaining, often preachy and dull--a pure formula picture. The story is time-tested and painfully simple. Costner plays The Mariner, a lone drifter on the watery surface of the earth who talks about his boat more than Forrest Gump. Jeanne Tripplehorn (THE FIRM) plays Helen, the love interest and the protector of Enola (Tina Majorino), a child with a strange tattoo which just may show the way to the mythical paradise of Dryland. The obligatory bad guy is The Deacon (Dennis Hopper), a slave driver/preacher with heavy artillery that acts a lot like, well, Dennis Hopper. I won't be the only one to say, "It's MAD MAX on water." Of course, The Deacon wants the kid. The Mariner wants to protect her and falls in love with Helen. So for 134 minutes, The Deacon chases the trio, turning up over and over and over, always out of nowhere (ever try to hide on the ocean?), and always being thwarted by The Mariner. Basically, it's Costner trying to be a superhero, swinging around on a *lot* of ropes and blowing up everything else. This gets pretty old after awhile, especially since Costner looks more concerned with what's for dinner than what's on the screen. The other problems are innumerable: it's hard to figure out where the story is headed, the bad guys act like members of a bumbling Keystone Coast Guard, and a number of effects are obvious digital fakes. There are a few bright spots, but it ends up being a passable story with lackluster execution. All the hype surrounding this film has really spoiled what there was to enjoy. If you see it, you'll probably be trying to figure out where all that money went, too (I only counted about $100 million). It's too bad; you'll need that brainpower just to figure out what's going on. RATING: **1/2 +-------------------------------+ |* Unquestionably awful | |** Sub-par on many levels | |*** Average, hits and misses | |**** Good, memorable film | |***** Perfection | +-------------------------------+ From ../rec.arts.sf.reviews Tue Nov 14 14:34:50 1995 From rec.arts.sf.reviews Sun Aug 6 13:33:48 1995 Newsgroups: rec.arts.movies.reviews,rec.arts.sf.reviews Path: news.ifm.liu.se!news.kth.se!nac.no!Norway.EU.net!EU.net!howland.reston.ans.net!nntp.crl.com!pacbell.com!gw2.att.com!nntpa!not-for-mail From: martin@cc.UManitoba.CA (Melissa Martin) Subject: REVIEW: WATERWORLD Message-ID: Followup-To: rec.arts.movies.current-films,rec.arts.sf.movies Summary: r.a.m.r. #03901 Originator: ecl@mtgp003 Keywords: author=Martin Sender: ecl@mtgpfs2.att.com (Evelyn C. Leeper) Nntp-Posting-Host: mtgp003.mt.att.com Reply-To: martin@cc.UManitoba.CA (Melissa Martin) Organization: The University of Manitoba Date: Thu, 3 Aug 1995 15:37:08 GMT Approved: ecl@mtgpfs2.att.com Lines: 104 Xref: news.ifm.liu.se rec.arts.movies.reviews:3252 rec.arts.sf.reviews:815 WATERWORLD A film review by Melissa Martin Copyright 1995 Melissa Martin There has been so much bad press surrounding WATERWORLD, that it seems to be one big scandal after another. But if you let this deter you from seeing the film, feel ashamed--you're missing one hell of a show. There have been tons of action flicks this year: DIE HARD WITH A VENGEANCE, BATMAN FOREVER. But WATERWORLD outshines them all. This is a blow-away, edge-of-your-seat action adventure with enough secondary stuff to please the palate: adventure, post-apocalyptic eerieness, love, a great script, a cool story, sex, a cute child, and a bad guy to root for. This has been said before, and will be said again, but it's true when they say that every dollar has gone onto the screen. Every shot is absolutely mind-boggling in its scale. Kevin Costner stars as the sullen, loner Mariner, a man who was born with functional gills and webbed feet. I was pleasantly surprised when I enjoyed his performance; my personal views about him (having nothing to do with the post-WATERWORLD Costner scandals) as well as my reservations about his acting talent had me preparing to shrug off his performance on-screen. But he comes across marvelously, with the perfect bitter facade as merits an outcast. Emotions shine through wonderfully, and you can actually see the relationship developing between the Mariner and Helen, played by Jeanne Tripplehorn, through Costner's eyes. As for Tripplehorn, I was awaiting her performance with some degree of gleeful anticipation, and I was not to be disappointed. She somehow manages to be a stunner even with grimy, tangled hair, cracked lips, weather-beaten skin and clothes compiled of what appear to be mesh and fabric scraps. She is delightfully strong of will, a true heroine in an industry dotted with obnoxiously volatile feminist heroines. It is pleasant to see a drop-dead gorgeous actress with some large degree of talent, which is sadly missing in most films today (no, I'm not naming any names). Tina Majorino comes across as the cutest thing the human race has to offer in her role as the enigmatic Enola, who draws pictures of horses and trees and has a map-like tattoo on her back. Her stubborn, hands-on-hips pouts are absolutely adorable. Not only does she flash the right smile and bounce around in an amazingly endearing way, she also shows that she's one of the few talented child actors out there. Dennis Hopper, however, was the actor I was looking forward to the most. The guy is so damn good at playing these deliciously evil villains, that one would almost expect him to walk into the recording studio of a Disney animated feature. Only Disneys animated villains have had the kind of charismatic, 100% pure evil personalities that make you want to root for the villain, and Hopper becomes something akin to THE LION KING's Uncle Scar. He's so delightful that it's a shame he didn't have more screen time. The character he played was that of the almost Koreshian Deacon, who was intent on leading the villainous, wild-guy Smokers (thusly named for their habit of smoking cigarettes nearly constantly) to Dry Land ... using, of course, the map on Enola's back. The story is great fun, and has tons of elements. The movie is fast-paced, giving you a few minutes of human-appeal in which to breathe, before diving headlong into another mind-blowing, nonstop battle scene, which is on the grandest scale ever seen. The most impressive sequence is split between the two main battles. The first occurs when the Smokers attack the giant, floating atoll--what is the Waterworld equivalent of a village--in an amazingly long but never dull explosion-filled battle. The atoll is a complete set, and built to patched-up perfection. There are thousands of wonderfully cast extras who populate the atoll, and all of whom are very convincing in their ragtaggedness. The second, climatic battle sequence occurs on the Exxon Valdez ... which survived the coming of the Waterworld to become the Smokers' refuge. What is impressive about this is when the Mariner drops a lighted flare down into the oil-filled belly of the ship ... causing the obvious results, a massive explosion that guts the entire ungainly thing. There is plenty of human appeal in the form of the Mariner's heartwarmingly cold bond formed with Enola, who refuses to hate him (no matter how mean he is to her). And then, of course, theres the Mariners oddly realistic desperation-born romance with the tough-as-nails Helen. The special effects--actually, just the whole thing--looks so incredible that it completely transports you into the place called Waterworld. Everything is absolutely amazing. It would be quite complex to go into it all here, so Ill suffice to say that the visual effects look like a million ... well, one hundred and seventy-two million bucks. *Bottom Line*: Go see this film. It's a completely blow-you-away action delicacy, and certainly one of the better films out there. The trick to enjoying this film is to totally let yourself go, which is pretty easy considering all the work that's gone into it. The acting is superb, the story is wonderful, and the visuals are gloriously stunning. Rating: I'd easily give this an "A", but not an "A+" for the simple reason that it didn't elate me the way that the "A+" APOLLO 13 did. It's a haunting film, but not a feel-good one. **** 1/2 stars. Melissa Martin From ../rec.arts.sf.reviews Tue Nov 14 14:34:52 1995 From rec.arts.sf.reviews Sun Aug 6 13:33:48 1995 Newsgroups: rec.arts.movies.reviews,rec.arts.sf.reviews Path: news.ifm.liu.se!news.kth.se!nac.no!Norway.EU.net!EU.net!howland.reston.ans.net!nntp.crl.com!pacbell.com!gw2.att.com!nntpa!not-for-mail From: grossy@netcom.com (Eric Grossman) Subject: REVIEW: WATERWORLD Message-ID: Followup-To: rec.arts.movies.current-films,rec.arts.sf.movies Summary: r.a.m.r. #03902 Originator: ecl@mtgp003 Keywords: author=Grossman Sender: ecl@mtgpfs2.att.com (Evelyn C. Leeper) Nntp-Posting-Host: mtgp003.mt.att.com Reply-To: grossy@netcom.com (Eric Grossman) Organization: NETCOM On-line Communication Services (408 261-4700 guest) Date: Thu, 3 Aug 1995 15:37:24 GMT Approved: ecl@mtgpfs2.att.com Lines: 54 Xref: news.ifm.liu.se rec.arts.movies.reviews:3253 rec.arts.sf.reviews:816 WATERWORLD A film review by Eric Grossman Copyright 1995 LOS ANGELES INDEPENDENT For its first half hour, WATERWORLD looked as if it might be a decent movie. Huge sets and big action sequences offered some hope that this film would not be the total disaster many had predicted. Then the trouble started and WATERWORLD became a big, overproduced bore. In this monstrosity, Kevin Costner plays the Mariner, a mutation that is mostly man but has gills and fish feet. The Mariner travels the ocean on his tricked-out trimaran, trading, scavenging and fighting off evil bad guys called Smokers. The Smokers are lead by the Deacon (Dennis Hopper) and their goal is to find a young child named, Enola (vociferously played by Tina Majorino), who bears a birthmark that holds the way to a mythic place called Dryland. The Mariner arrives at a huge atoll to trade pure dirt (a most precious commodity) for hydro (fresh water). While there he meets Enola and her mother Helen (Jeanne Tripplehorn). When the Smokers attack the atoll so they can capture Enola, the Mariner escapes with the help of Helen and the young girl and the three head out into the open sea. At first, the Mariner doesn't want their company but he eventually grows fond of them and together they set out to find Dryland. Up until the point where the Mariner escapes the atoll, WATERWORLD moves along in a swift, entertaining fashion. After that, the story slows to a crawl and all we are left with are the paper thin characters. Director Kevin Reynolds has a good eye but he and cinematographer Dean Semler can't make up for the lackluster script by Peter Rader and David Twohy. The only thing as bad as the writing in this film is the acting. For his part, Costner never seems to find the right tone. His Mariner oscillates between a tough, uncaring anti-hero and a sensitive `90's guy. Hopper, playing yet another villain, looks as if he sleepwalked through his role as the Deacon. He has a few good one-liners but he is never menacing and that does not make for much drama. As the poorly scripted Helen, Jeanne Tripplehorn, no matter what she tries, cannot make her character interesting. She stares a lot and yells often at the Mariner but we never really learn much about her and she does not give us much reason to care to. Technically, WATERWORLD is a great achievement, except I would like to know why on a film that costs $175 million, things still look fake. Production designer Dennis Gassner's sets, which include the atoll, a super-tanker and the trimaran give a sense of where some of that enormous budget went. The editing by Peter Boyle is slick and James Newton Howard's score, while it is nothing memorable, works just fine. Unfortunately, despite all its technical bravado, WATERWORLD is a lousy movie. From ../rec.arts.sf.reviews Tue Nov 14 14:34:53 1995 From rec.arts.sf.reviews Sun Aug 6 13:33:48 1995 Newsgroups: rec.arts.movies.reviews,rec.arts.sf.reviews Path: news.ifm.liu.se!news.kth.se!nac.no!Norway.EU.net!EU.net!howland.reston.ans.net!nntp.crl.com!pacbell.com!gw2.att.com!nntpa!not-for-mail From: gharlane@ccshp1.ccs.csus.edu (Gharlane of Eddore) Subject: REVIEW: WATERWORLD Message-ID: Followup-To: rec.arts.movies.current-films,rec.arts.sf.movies Summary: r.a.m.r. #03903 Originator: ecl@mtgp003 Keywords: author=Gharlane Sender: ecl@mtgpfs2.att.com (Evelyn C. Leeper) Nntp-Posting-Host: mtgp003.mt.att.com Reply-To: gharlane@ccshp1.ccs.csus.edu (Gharlane of Eddore) Organization: ? Date: Thu, 3 Aug 1995 15:40:30 GMT Approved: ecl@mtgpfs2.att.com Lines: 103 Xref: news.ifm.liu.se rec.arts.movies.reviews:3254 rec.arts.sf.reviews:817 WATERWORLD A film review by Gharlane of Eddore Copyright 1995 Gharlane of Eddore 0 out of * * * * possible. "Something is fishy in the state of Universal." About ten years back, with the unexpected success of MAD MAX and THE ROAD WARRIOR, post-apocalypse nitty-gritty survival yarns became popular at the movies. We've always had movies of this nature; ON THE BEACH, THE END OF THE WORLD, DAMNATION ALLEY, THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR, and so on. To date, the most smoothly done were straightforward "haircuts" of the classic western plot, like the lone gunman who comes to town and protects the widow and the son against an evil organization, usually one in possession of some critical resource, like water, feed range, or a mining claim. Most of these grew out of venerable, but solid hero yarns like THE VIRGINIAN and SHANE. (My personal favorite is a Patrick Swayze movie called STEEL DAWN, which was fairly well made on a small budget.) Now we have WATERWORLD, which again brings the traditional lone gunman to town to rescue the young widow and her daughter. (Well, she's not a widow, and the kid isn't her daughter, but you get the idea.) The lady is Helen, played by the stunning Jean Tripplehorn, who isn't given a chance to be stunning, or even interesting, by the mediocre and unimaginative script. The child Enola, played by Tina Majorino, is living proof that a child actor need not be a bad thing to have in a movie; she outshines her material all the way through. In simple, the scene is Earth, hundreds of years from now. The polar ice caps have melted, and somehow produced enough water to inundate the entire planet. The few remaining people live in boats and floating colonies, and survive by trade, theft, or piracy. Somehow an oil tanker has survived the centuries, and its inhabitants, called "Smokers," are able to keep gasoline engines running despite the dearth of replacement parts and raw materials, so the Bad Guys have outboard engines, and fast-moving boats, airplanes, and jet skis. Enola, found at sea as a young girl, has a mysterious map no one can read tattooed on her back. We suspect early on that it is the way to the mythical "Dryland," the place where trees, crops, and animals grow, and what plot there is hinges on Who Has Enola. The psycho ruler of the Smokers, the "Deacon," is trying to get her and find his way to Dryland. Played with typical self-lampooning, rug-chewing histrionics by Dennis Hopper, "Deacon" is the only thing in the movie that's close to amusing. His performance is *almost* laughable, but there just isn't enough there to be funny. The star (and a co-producer) is Kevin Costner. He's playing an un-named lone denizen of the sea, a man called the "mariner," who turns out to be a gilled, water-breathing mutant with webbed feet. Very little is done with this. The script ignores the ineffectuality of gills in supplying enough oxygen to support a human metabolism; it ignores the fact that even with both ice caps completely melted, much of the Earth's surface would still be above water; and it ignores the blatant impossibility of the cultures and technology shown. (Canned meat does *not* last for centuries; ammunition does *not* fire after it's more than a few decades old; and so on, and so on...) I'm quite fond of Tina Majorino's previous work, very impressed by Jean Tripplehorn's past accomplishments, and still speechless over Costner's DANCES WITH WOLVES. But this movie could destroy the careers of anyone associated with it! This movie cost ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY-TWO MILLION DOLLARS, and there's *nothing* in it we haven't seen before, done better on only a few percent of the cost of this turkey. At 125 minutes of material, this movie cost over ONE POINT FOUR MILLION DOLLARS PER MINUTE to make. The budget of this movie *could* have given us over THIRTY movies; it could have paid for SIX YEARS OF A PRIME-TIME SF TV SERIES WITH EXPENSIVE FX WORK, OR TEN YEARS OF AN SF TV SERIES WITH GOOD DIGITAL FX. In sum, this movie is beneath contempt. It has nothing new to offer, it has a script that could easily have been bettered by the people who write comic books for DC, and it spent more money than the national budget of a small nation. If you *have* to go see it, see it on a four-dollar matinee. Otherwise you'll find yourself sneering at you every time you pass a reflective surface, for weeks. Rating: ZERO stars. (Rent a copy of STEEL DAWN and stay home; you'll see a better movie, cheaper.) United States, 1995 Release date: 7-28-1995 Running Length: 2:15 Rating: PG-13 (Violence, brief nudity) Theatrical Aspect Ratio: 1.85:1 Cast: Kevin Costner, Jeanne Tripplehorn, Tina Majorino, Dennis Hopper, Michael Jeter Director: Kevin Reynolds Producers: Charles Gordon, John Davis, and Kevin Costner Screenplay: Peter Rader and David Twohy Cinematography: Dean Semler Music: James Newton Howard From Universal Pictures From ../rec.arts.sf.reviews Tue Nov 14 14:34:55 1995 From rec.arts.sf.reviews Sun Aug 6 13:33:49 1995 Newsgroups: rec.arts.movies.reviews,rec.arts.sf.reviews Path: news.ifm.liu.se!news.kth.se!nac.no!Norway.EU.net!EU.net!howland.reston.ans.net!nntp.crl.com!pacbell.com!gw2.att.com!nntpa!not-for-mail From: jsilvest@julian.uwo.ca (J. D. Silvester) Subject: REVIEW: WATERWORLD Message-ID: Followup-To: rec.arts.movies.current-films,rec.arts.sf.movies Summary: r.a.m.r. #03904 Originator: ecl@mtgp003 Keywords: author=Silvester Sender: ecl@mtgpfs2.att.com (Evelyn C. Leeper) Nntp-Posting-Host: mtgp003.mt.att.com Reply-To: jsilvest@julian.uwo.ca (J. D. Silvester) Organization: The University of Western Ontario, London, Ont. Canada Date: Thu, 3 Aug 1995 15:40:55 GMT Approved: ecl@mtgpfs2.att.com Lines: 63 Xref: news.ifm.liu.se rec.arts.movies.reviews:3255 rec.arts.sf.reviews:818 WATERWORLD A film review by J. D. Silvester Copyright 1995 J. D. Silvester Having read the previous reviews of WATERWORLD that have been posted in this newsgroup, I decided to check out the movie for myself. I would like to start by saying that I did not go to the theatre expecting to walk away with an answer to the meaning of life and as such was not as disappointed with the film as other critics have been. If you are the type of person that expects a movie to provide you with all the answers to your personal problems, or you expect to walk away having experienced a "revelation," than save your 8 bucks for another movie! If, however, you are like me and you go to be entertained, then by all means go see WATERWORLD. WATERWORLD is a "popcorn" movie. What do I mean by a "popcorn" movie? Hmmm ... the easiest explanation would be for you to watch the movie BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER. That is a "popcorn" movie! Personally, I go to the theatre for a mind numbing, wholly entertaining experience. I like seeing great action, large explosions, and stunts that make annal retentive boobs go, "Oh man, that's so fake!" Of course it's fake butt-head, it's a damn movie! However, for me, WATERWORLD was even more of an experience than I expected. Mostly due to the group of six juveniles seated in the row directly behind me. Thanks to this group of four girls and two boys, I got to learn who wanted to give whom a blowjob, how much alcohol they had consumed the night before, who was dating whom, whose sister had grown up more since they last saw one another, who could produce the loudest belch (to my amazement, a girl won that one, and yes, it was the girl seated directly behind me!), and I had the latest rock and roll release pounded out on the back of my chair by someone's feet. It also amazed me how many stupid questions this group could produce ranging from one girl asking what gills are (I am really unsure of what our youth are being taught in school today), to another girl constantly complaining about how boring the movie was then asking what was happening on the screen and why. Mostly because she couldn't hear the dialogue due to her own mouth constantly flapping! Theatrical antics aside, WATERWORLD is enjoyable on a purely physical level. Large explosions, good stunts (many of which were performed by Costner himself), and of course Dennis Hopper, one of my favorite screen stars. A movie with Dennis Hopper, no matter how poorly done, always deserves some credit for his appearance in it. I found the name printed on the stern of the oil tanker, deservingly funny, though I almost missed it due to the peanut gallery behind me. It was at this point, one of the larger girls started beating on one of the boys. If you get a chance to see WATERWORLD, I would suggest though that you sit at the very back of the theatre so that you don't wind up with your very own personal group of hooligans! Though, in my case it made for some interesting entertainment during the previews, most of which I had already seen. Personally I give WATERWORLD ***1/2 (out of five). It loses a little, because for me there were a few dry spots between the action stunts. I give the girl's belch and 8 out of 10, her delivery was good, but she couldn't maintain it long enough to earn those extra couple of points. Next time - THE NET, with Sandra Bullock. From ../rec.arts.sf.reviews Tue Nov 14 14:34:56 1995 From rec.arts.sf.reviews Sun Aug 6 13:33:49 1995 Newsgroups: rec.arts.movies.reviews,rec.arts.sf.reviews Path: news.ifm.liu.se!news.kth.se!nac.no!Norway.EU.net!EU.net!howland.reston.ans.net!nntp.crl.com!pacbell.com!gw2.att.com!nntpa!not-for-mail From: legeros@cybernetics.net (Michael J. Legeros) Subject: REVIEW: WATERWORLD Message-ID: Followup-To: rec.arts.movies.current-films,rec.arts.sf.movies Summary: r.a.m.r. #03905 Originator: ecl@mtgp003 Keywords: author=Legeros Sender: ecl@mtgpfs2.att.com (Evelyn C. Leeper) Nntp-Posting-Host: mtgp003.mt.att.com Reply-To: legeros@cybernetics.net (Michael J. Legeros) Organization: SAS Institute, Inc. Date: Thu, 3 Aug 1995 15:41:16 GMT Approved: ecl@mtgpfs2.att.com Lines: 106 Xref: news.ifm.liu.se rec.arts.movies.reviews:3256 rec.arts.sf.reviews:819 WATERWORLD A film review by Michael John Legeros Copyright 1995 Michael John Legeros (Universal) Directed by Kevin Reynolds Written by Peter Rader and David Twohy Cast Kevin Costner, Dennis Hopper, Jeanne Tripplehorn, Tina Majorino MPAA Rating "PG-13" Running Time 135 minutes Reviewed at General Cinemas at Pleasant Valley, Raleigh (26JUL95) == "Setback." - Dennis Hopper DIE HARD, BRAVEHEART, Batman, Spaceman. Welcome to the Summer of Acceptance, where even the *best* of the big-gun blockbusters must be accepted on their own, flawed, faulted terms. Overlong, overdone, or overhyped, the ticket sales are the testimony to one simple fact: we're *willing* to accept the flawed (but still spectacular) visions of filmmakers like John McTiernan, Joel Schumacher, and, now, Kevin Reynolds. (Of course, we also embraced CONGO. Go figure.) WATERWORLD floats, though not very high above the surface. The joys of the Most Expensive Movie Ever Made ($175M) include a breezy tone, good humor, and *dynamite* action. Director Kevin Reynolds (ROBIN HOOD: PRINCE OF THIEVES) has clearly beaten his playmates at the punch bowl. Sure, it's THE ROAD WARRIOR on water, but the stunt-heavy set-pieces are more open and relaxed than anything we've seen in DIE HARD or BATMAN. The first hour is the best, successfully suspending our disbelief that a world covered with water would still support human life. (And, for that matter, would still support so many late-20th century relics!) Into that picture drifts the Mariner (Kevin Costner), a wandering mutant with slimy webbed-feet and gills that look like little vaginas. He's at odds with everyone, including the Atollers (who live in harmony on a man-made atoll) and the Smokers (who like to smoke and kill and not necessarily in that order). The Mariner just wants to be left alone with his ecology lesson, but that proves difficult after he befriends a little girl (Tina Majorino) with a strange tattoo. WATERWORLD starts to sink in the second hour, as the film begins to feel less and less "finished." The logic problems are the worse, ranging from a casual deep-sea dive that offers no mention of decompression--much less the dangers of tangled support cables!--to the return of a patchwork airship that looks better suited to GILLIGAN'S ISLAND than THE ROWED WARRIOR. Skipper!! The second hour also marks the deterioration of the FX, particularly in the matte department. Another albatross is the story, which is thin even by summer-movie standards. The plot is essentially an extended chase sequence with a dash of characterization for Costner. Numerous dead-end references don't help, either, and suggest a number of cut scenes. Hopper calls for "the trackers," but we're only shown some shark fins in passing. Tripplehorn talks about a "music box" as something "nobody else has seen," but when did *she* see it? And the list goes on. (The sexism doesn't make much sense, either. Why not paint the future as a place where the sexes are equal, and where the Mariner not only thinks about selling his woman, but also himself??) Despite a production history more difficult than a James Cameron shoot, the acting in WATERWORLD in surprisingly strong. Costner is amazing as the brutish, brooding hero who is more prone to throwing little girls overboard than to waxing wisecracks while killing. For someone who has never been licensed as an action figure, he's also *very* nimble on his feet. The villain, the Deacon, the bald-headed leader of the Smokers, is played with customary gusto by Dennis Hopper. (He's here because of a new industry rule that requires the actor to play the villain in at least *one* summer blockbuster a year. His characterization for *this* role: Southern accent.) He gets upstaged, though, by young star Tina Majorino (WHEN A MAN LOVES A WOMAN). She's plays the little girl with the map on her back, and she's a scene-stealer. (Only Jeanne Tripplehorn--as the love interest--doesn't fit. With her shaved armpits and shiny hair, she's too clean-looking. The actress has spunk, sure, but she acts like she walked (trippled?) in from another movie, entirely. She's awful.) The other technical credits are a mixed catch. The production design is a winner, with the Mariner's trimaran as the coolest contraption next to the Batmobile. The lighting is inconsistent, imagine that!, but the photography makes great use of the water, water that's everywhere. There's also the slight problem of overscoring--this is not a story that needs swelling strings. BOTTOM LINE: Though one can easily imagine a longer and more robust cut surfacing sometime in the future, the current version of WATERWORLD is great eye-candy with just a little bit of depth below the waves. Grade: B- -- Michael J. Legeros Raleigh, NC legeros@cybernetics.net From ../rec.arts.sf.reviews Tue Nov 14 14:34:58 1995 From rec.arts.sf.reviews Mon Sep 25 08:48:05 1995 Newsgroups: rec.arts.movies.reviews,rec.arts.sf.reviews Path: news.ifm.liu.se!liuida!sunic!sunic.sunet.se!news.luth.se!eru.mt.luth.se!bloom-beacon.mit.edu!spool.mu.edu!howland.reston.ans.net!nntp.crl.com!pacbell.com!gw2.att.com!nntpa!not-for-mail From: bt18@cityscape.co.uk (Allan Toombs) Subject: REVIEW: WATERWORLD Message-ID: Followup-To: rec.arts.movies.current-films,rec.arts.sf.movies Summary: r.a.m.r. #04032 Originator: ecl@mtgp003 Keywords: author=Toombs Sender: ecl@mtgpfs2.att.com (Evelyn C. Leeper) Nntp-Posting-Host: mtgp003.mt.att.com Reply-To: bt18@cityscape.co.uk (Allan Toombs) Organization: ? Date: Tue, 19 Sep 1995 17:46:30 GMT Approved: ecl@mtgpfs2.att.com Lines: 105 Xref: news.ifm.liu.se rec.arts.movies.reviews:3359 rec.arts.sf.reviews:838 WATERWORLD A Post-Apocalypse Classic A film review by Allan Toombs Copyright 1995 Allan Toombs WATERWORLD has suffered some very poor press recently. It seems journalists can't resist reference to its cost and many professional reviewers reveal that either they failed to watch the entire movie (lazy fools they're paid to do this!) or low IQs. WATERWORLD rises head and shoulders above the recent crop of action based blockbusters. Batman Forever and Judge Dredd merely offer a distorted mirror view of our crime-ridden urban society whereas WATERWORLD carefully constructs a scenario where the rules of survival are very different. Kevin Costner's character, known in true Campbellian-hero style only as "The Mariner," is the perfect survival machine for this all-water environment. He processes his own urine for the water content (not as some reports state "drinks his own piss") and the film opens rather daringly with a back-shot of Costner quite obviously peeing into a container. As a drifter he pilots a trimaran and trades anything the sea gives up to him. One of the director's real coups here is to make a yacht chase as thoroughly dynamic on film as any speed boat race. Indeed a basic juxtaposition of the film is sail power versus petrol burning craft. The (for want of a better term) baddies are called "Smokers" since they eschew windpower and as their leader Deacon (Dennis Hopper) dispenses an endless supply of cigarettes (not a comforting film for the pro-tobacco lobby this as the Smokers are crude and stupid villains). In this respect the film is far clearer than the comparable MAD MAX II where both sides are fighting over and using oil, yet a world oil-disaster is the cause of their apocalypse. At one point in WATERWORLD there is a moment of pure surrealism as "Peter Gunn" is played and Hopper and his cronies are pushed around in the wheeless shell of an automobile. This underlines the totality of the water shooting throughout the film. As you assume the mindset of a water-bound existence areas of pseudo-solid ground become surprisingly anachronistic and by the end of the movie when the legendary "dryland" is found I viewed our world of greenery and wildlife in a new light of enhanced beauty. This film definitely follows the currently dominant 3-Act plotting model and divides thus: In Act 1 the Mariner arrives at the Atoll and attempts trade but is captured for being a mutant. As he is being slowly put to death there is a mass Smoker attack which successfully breaches the drift-peoples defenses. In the ensuing mayhem Costner accepts heroine Helen's bargain to provide escape for her and the mysterious girlchild Enola. In Act 3 Costner rescues Tina Majorino's little girl from Hoppers stronghold and because of this he and the remaining drift-people find dryland, although the Mariner chooses to return to the sea. It is Act 2 which distinguishes WATERWORLD from the its fellow action adventures such as MAD MAX III; BEYOND THUNDERDOME. There is a biting sexual tension between Kevin Costner and Jeanne Tripplehorn that electrifies the screen, her sudden disrobement amidst the emptiness of the ocean is as astonishing as his rejection of her. As my partner Jackie put it "Kevin Costner beating up women and little girls!" Portrayed is no ordinary hero but a brutalised man stripped of any culture by the need to survive. Costner takes his anti-hero further even than Mel Gibson's portrayal in MAD MAX II and I started to wonder if there was a misogynist subtext to WATERWORLD. Maybe "a man's best friend is his boat and there ain't no woman good enough for him" was the film's message? Thankfully this was not so and the Mariner turns out to be waiting for real love rather than the ancient bargain of sex for shelter. A thoroughly un-feminist middle then, as Tripplehorn has nowhere to turn within the claustrophobic confines of the small boat. The destruction of Costner's gimmick-rigged trimaran marks the end of this mid-section and amidst the wreckage left by Hopper's ambush and abduction of the girlchild our antagonistic couple finally make-love simply because there is no reason not to do so. WATERWORLD is quite a long movie (120 minutes) and it would have been tempting for the production team to make cuts in this middle chapter. Thankfully if there were any cuts made they were from the Mariner's commando style entry of the Smokers' stronghold (the revelation of which is one of the films most breathtaking moments and explains sloppy-criticisms of "where does the fuel for the jet-skis come from" (Kaleidoscope--shame on you Radio Four)). This sequence is given a strange narrative air by Majorino telling the Smoker second in command how "he (The Mariner) has killed lots of people (as Costner silently dispatches some guards) and he is going to rescue me." She announces this as if it was free-form verse and the stealthy fight-action gains a bizarre poetic edge. Finally WATERWORLD boasts a frisson as moving and yet less sensationalistic than PLANET OF THE APES's Statue of Liberty buried on the beach moment. When we descend beneath the waves we are taken through the watery remains of a modern city we feel not only the shock of seeing our civilisation in ruins but Tripplehorn's character's despair that Costner has no source of soil from dryland only what he salvages. To me this underlines the emotional surety of the film as well as its highly involving projection of the future. Like SEVEN SAMURAI you are left wanting more, wondering where the Mariner will go next and what he will find alone out on the ocean. -- Allan Toombs http://www.cityscape.co.uk/users/bt18/atoombs.html mailto:toombs@cityscape.co.uk From ../rec.arts.sf.reviews Tue Nov 14 14:34:59 1995 From rec.arts.sf.reviews Mon Sep 25 08:49:11 1995 Newsgroups: rec.arts.movies.reviews,rec.arts.sf.reviews Path: news.ifm.liu.se!liuida!sunic!sunic.sunet.se!news.luth.se!eru.mt.luth.se!bloom-beacon.mit.edu!spool.mu.edu!howland.reston.ans.net!nntp.crl.com!pacbell.com!gw2.att.com!nntpa!not-for-mail From: bt18@cityscape.co.uk (Allan Toombs) Subject: REVIEW: WATERWORLD Message-ID: Followup-To: rec.arts.movies.current-films,rec.arts.sf.movies Summary: r.a.m.r. #04032 Originator: ecl@mtgp003 Keywords: author=Toombs Sender: ecl@mtgpfs2.att.com (Evelyn C. Leeper) Nntp-Posting-Host: mtgp003.mt.att.com Reply-To: bt18@cityscape.co.uk (Allan Toombs) Organization: ? Date: Tue, 19 Sep 1995 17:46:30 GMT Approved: ecl@mtgpfs2.att.com Lines: 105 Xref: news.ifm.liu.se rec.arts.movies.reviews:3359 rec.arts.sf.reviews:838 WATERWORLD A Post-Apocalypse Classic A film review by Allan Toombs Copyright 1995 Allan Toombs WATERWORLD has suffered some very poor press recently. It seems journalists can't resist reference to its cost and many professional reviewers reveal that either they failed to watch the entire movie (lazy fools they're paid to do this!) or low IQs. WATERWORLD rises head and shoulders above the recent crop of action based blockbusters. Batman Forever and Judge Dredd merely offer a distorted mirror view of our crime-ridden urban society whereas WATERWORLD carefully constructs a scenario where the rules of survival are very different. Kevin Costner's character, known in true Campbellian-hero style only as "The Mariner," is the perfect survival machine for this all-water environment. He processes his own urine for the water content (not as some reports state "drinks his own piss") and the film opens rather daringly with a back-shot of Costner quite obviously peeing into a container. As a drifter he pilots a trimaran and trades anything the sea gives up to him. One of the director's real coups here is to make a yacht chase as thoroughly dynamic on film as any speed boat race. Indeed a basic juxtaposition of the film is sail power versus petrol burning craft. The (for want of a better term) baddies are called "Smokers" since they eschew windpower and as their leader Deacon (Dennis Hopper) dispenses an endless supply of cigarettes (not a comforting film for the pro-tobacco lobby this as the Smokers are crude and stupid villains). In this respect the film is far clearer than the comparable MAD MAX II where both sides are fighting over and using oil, yet a world oil-disaster is the cause of their apocalypse. At one point in WATERWORLD there is a moment of pure surrealism as "Peter Gunn" is played and Hopper and his cronies are pushed around in the wheeless shell of an automobile. This underlines the totality of the water shooting throughout the film. As you assume the mindset of a water-bound existence areas of pseudo-solid ground become surprisingly anachronistic and by the end of the movie when the legendary "dryland" is found I viewed our world of greenery and wildlife in a new light of enhanced beauty. This film definitely follows the currently dominant 3-Act plotting model and divides thus: In Act 1 the Mariner arrives at the Atoll and attempts trade but is captured for being a mutant. As he is being slowly put to death there is a mass Smoker attack which successfully breaches the drift-peoples defenses. In the ensuing mayhem Costner accepts heroine Helen's bargain to provide escape for her and the mysterious girlchild Enola. In Act 3 Costner rescues Tina Majorino's little girl from Hoppers stronghold and because of this he and the remaining drift-people find dryland, although the Mariner chooses to return to the sea. It is Act 2 which distinguishes WATERWORLD from the its fellow action adventures such as MAD MAX III; BEYOND THUNDERDOME. There is a biting sexual tension between Kevin Costner and Jeanne Tripplehorn that electrifies the screen, her sudden disrobement amidst the emptiness of the ocean is as astonishing as his rejection of her. As my partner Jackie put it "Kevin Costner beating up women and little girls!" Portrayed is no ordinary hero but a brutalised man stripped of any culture by the need to survive. Costner takes his anti-hero further even than Mel Gibson's portrayal in MAD MAX II and I started to wonder if there was a misogynist subtext to WATERWORLD. Maybe "a man's best friend is his boat and there ain't no woman good enough for him" was the film's message? Thankfully this was not so and the Mariner turns out to be waiting for real love rather than the ancient bargain of sex for shelter. A thoroughly un-feminist middle then, as Tripplehorn has nowhere to turn within the claustrophobic confines of the small boat. The destruction of Costner's gimmick-rigged trimaran marks the end of this mid-section and amidst the wreckage left by Hopper's ambush and abduction of the girlchild our antagonistic couple finally make-love simply because there is no reason not to do so. WATERWORLD is quite a long movie (120 minutes) and it would have been tempting for the production team to make cuts in this middle chapter. Thankfully if there were any cuts made they were from the Mariner's commando style entry of the Smokers' stronghold (the revelation of which is one of the films most breathtaking moments and explains sloppy-criticisms of "where does the fuel for the jet-skis come from" (Kaleidoscope--shame on you Radio Four)). This sequence is given a strange narrative air by Majorino telling the Smoker second in command how "he (The Mariner) has killed lots of people (as Costner silently dispatches some guards) and he is going to rescue me." She announces this as if it was free-form verse and the stealthy fight-action gains a bizarre poetic edge. Finally WATERWORLD boasts a frisson as moving and yet less sensationalistic than PLANET OF THE APES's Statue of Liberty buried on the beach moment. When we descend beneath the waves we are taken through the watery remains of a modern city we feel not only the shock of seeing our civilisation in ruins but Tripplehorn's character's despair that Costner has no source of soil from dryland only what he salvages. To me this underlines the emotional surety of the film as well as its highly involving projection of the future. Like SEVEN SAMURAI you are left wanting more, wondering where the Mariner will go next and what he will find alone out on the ocean. -- Allan Toombs http://www.cityscape.co.uk/users/bt18/atoombs.html mailto:toombs@cityscape.co.uk From ../rec.arts.sf.reviews Tue Nov 14 14:35:01 1995 From rec.arts.sf.reviews Mon Sep 25 08:49:13 1995 Newsgroups: rec.arts.movies.reviews,rec.arts.sf.reviews Path: news.ifm.liu.se!liuida!sunic!sunic.sunet.se!newsfeed.tip.net!peroni.ita.tip.net!t500.vol.it!news.sprintlink.net!in2.uu.net!news1.digital.com!nntp-hub2.barrnet.net!pacbell.com!gw2.att.com!nntpa!not-for-mail From: nebbadoon@telecomp.com (Joan Ellis) Subject: REVIEW: WATERWORLD Message-ID: Followup-To: rec.arts.movies.current-films,rec.arts.sf.movies Summary: r.a.m.r. #04039 Originator: ecl@mtgp003 Keywords: author=Ellis Sender: ecl@mtgpfs2.att.com (Evelyn C. Leeper) Nntp-Posting-Host: mtgp003.mt.att.com Reply-To: nebbadoon@telecomp.com (Joan Ellis) Organization: Nebbadoon Syndicate Date: Thu, 21 Sep 1995 22:45:29 GMT Approved: ecl@mtgpfs2.att.com Lines: 69 Xref: news.ifm.liu.se rec.arts.movies.reviews:3366 rec.arts.sf.reviews:839 WATERWORLD A film review by Joan Ellis Copyright 1995 Nebbadoon Syndicate WATERWORLD is definitely a bad hair movie. Dennis Hopper has none, Kevin Costner's is thinning, and Hopper's assistant thug looks as if his has been growing for decades. In the absence of humor, drama, or character chemistry, you notice things like that. This movie just can't make up its mind. Should it be a spiritual sea epic, or should it be this year's violent action movie? The primal man/woman/child unit is pitted against the sea in search of any spot of dry land than might have survived the melting of the polar icecaps. The Mariner (Costner), Helen (Jeanne Tripplehorn), and Enola (Tina Majorino), a little girl with a cryptic map to dry land tattooed on her back, glisten with sweat and grow progressively weaker from sun and salt in pale imitation of all lifeboat movies. Just as we are pondering the seriousness of the problem, a band of the silliest villains you ever saw streaks over the horizon on Jet Skis. Armed with grisly weapons fashioned from the leftovers of civilization, the Smokers are chasing the mariner, "the gentleman guppy," whose gills are hidden mercifully behind his ears. Dennis Hopper is here to reprise his bad guy personality as the Deacon, the Mariner's villainous rival. If there is water, water everywhere and not a drop to drink (converted urine serves), it doesn't bother the Deacon, who has an endless supply of scotch, which he swills while haranguing the world's survivors who are clustered on the rusting hull of the infamous Exxon Valdez, which serves as their floating home. The Smokers and the survivors, in spite of living in an ocean that could clean them, are comically and inexplicably filthy. Clad in clothes and accents that range from imagined Renaissance to Grunge, they seem to have passed through Krook's rag-and-bone shop on their way to a company outing by the ocean. It's a hodgepodge so ridiculous that even a good performance by the little girl and some spiffy photography of fireballs can't lift the leaden mass. Standing topside in a three-cornered hat to address the cheering faithful. The Deacon, in a charitable interpretation, is a sly metaphor for the fundamentalist preachers who sermonize about family values while they drink, womanize, and indulge themselves in luxury bought with the contributions of their parishioners. In the uncharitable view, he's just a jerk. Covering his gouged eye socket with a patch and sporting a cleaver as an artificial hand, Hopper tries mightily to invest his character with a wink from his remaining eye to tell us this movie is fun. But even he can't surmount the deadly dullness of Kevin Costner's vision. If this is Costner's warning that we are ruining the planet, he delivers it with a mailed fist. This very earnest man has made a movie without the redeeming qualities of romance, drama, or humor. Is it possible that he mistakes seriousness for dignity? This is a lifeless movie. And don't even ask where the money went. Film Critic : JOAN ELLIS Word Count : 495 Studio : Universal Rating : PG-13 Running Time: 2h15m ====================================================================== For all Ellis reviews, see http://movie.infocom.net (which has a search engine) or send any email to: movie@telecomp.com Feel free to reuse as long as source acknowledged. Please send information regarding reuse to 'nebbadoon@telecomp.com' From /home/matoh/tmp/sf-rev Fri Aug 22 16:40:46 1997 From rec.arts.sf.reviews Mon Aug 18 15:22:49 1997 Path: news.ifm.liu.se!news.lth.se!eru.mt.luth.se!news-stkh.gsl.net!news.gsl.net!sn.no!nntp.uio.no!news-feed.inet.tele.dk!europa.clark.net!infeed1.internetmci.com!newsfeed.internetmci.com!in2.uu.net!140.142.64.3!news.u.washington.edu!grahams From: ChadPolenz@aol.com (Chad Polenz) Newsgroups: rec.arts.movies.reviews,rec.arts.sf.reviews Subject: Retrospective: Waterworld (1995) Followup-To: rec.arts.sf.movies Date: 16 Jul 1997 03:12:03 GMT Organization: None Lines: 72 Approved: graham@ee.washington.edu Message-ID: <5qhe63$9c0@nntp5.u.washington.edu> NNTP-Posting-Host: homer11.u.washington.edu NNTP-Posting-User: grahams Summary: r.a.m.r. #08235 Keywords: author=polenz X-Questions-to: movie-rev-mod@www.ee.washington.edu X-Submissions-to: movie-reviews@www.ee.washington.edu Originator: grahams@homer11.u.washington.edu Xref: news.ifm.liu.se rec.arts.movies.reviews:7670 rec.arts.sf.reviews:1443 Waterworld Chad'z rating: * (out of 4 = poor) 1995, PG-13, 136 minutes [2 hours, 16 minutes] [science fiction/thriller] starring: Kevin Costner (The Mariner), Jeanne Tripplehorn (Helen), Dennis Hopper (Deacon), Tina Mojorino (Enola), produced by Charles Gordon, John Davis, Kevin Costner, written by Peter Roder, David Twohy, directed by Kevin Reynolds. I feel sorry for the financial backers of "Waterworld," which is supposedly the most expensive film ever made (at $172 million!), and is also one of the stupidest - boy did they get ripped off! In fact, this film is not really a movie, but more of an amusement park ride with a plot. It's not even just another case of cliches strung together (well, it is that too), it's something that's painful to watch because it relishes in its flaws. Kevin Costner stars as a man who is some kind of mutant half man/half fish. He is an explorer/mariner on an alternate Earth that is completely covered by water because the polar ice caps melted. He's referred to as The Mariner, but they "The Meaner" would have been a more appropriate title because he's cold, rigid, and strict - and he's supposed the be the good guy! He docks at a small floating village of sorts. He trades dirt for money and this introduces us to the other important characters. First we meet one of the villains, then the soon-to-be heroine, a child prodigy, a wacky inventor, and a group of primitive people that somehow have some of the technology we have today, but also some of the low-tech tools used by pirates and Vikings. Immediately the film's biggest flaw is apparent: are these people primitive or highly advanced? It doesn't seem like anyone can read yet they have Ski-Doos and airplanes! How are these things powered? And if they have airplanes, couldn't they just keep flying until they reached dry land? Also, if the planet is completely covered in water where did they get the materials to make these things? I'm sorry, I'm all for checking your brain at the door when going to the movies, but elements like these cannot go unnoticed because they draw our attention away from the story and confuse us. There was potential here for a good pirate story set in medieval times before modern technology, so why mix the two together? It doesn't make any sense. There really isn't much of a plot here because the story moves so quickly it never takes time to explain anything. The only thing we learn is that the prodigy child, Enola (Mojorino), has a tattoo on her back that is supposedly a map to "Dryland." Who put the tattoo there and how come it has taken them this long to figure this out? We never get an answer, just a stupid action movie about whoever can get the girl will be the victor of sorts if they reach Dryland. To make a long, boring, stupid, and just plain bad story short; the mariner escapes with a woman named Helen (Tripplehorn) and Enola. They sail for a long time, encountering some strange people in the process and fight off "The Smokers" as lead by the idiot villain Deacon (Hopper), who kidnaps Enola. The story becomes a overly grand adventure with the mariner taking on an army of goons, rescuing Enola, and bringing them all to salvation (how original). Even with all its special effects, action, and adventure this film is boring. Not a single character is likable, therefore neither is the plot. Dennis Hopper completely rips off Jack Nicholson's Joker, while Costner just plain rips. Still, "Waterworld" is professionally made with a good production design and an original idea but no substance to it. I just hope they don't make a sequel! Please visit Chad'z Movie Page @ http://members.aol.com/ChadPolenz - over 140 new and old films reviewed in depth, not just blind ratings and capsules. Also, check out The FIRST Shay Astar Web Page @ http://members.aol.com/ChadPolenz/ShayAstar.html e-mail: ChadPolenz@aol.com (C) 1997 Chad Polenz From /home/matoh/tmp/sf-rev Fri Aug 22 16:40:54 1997 From rec.arts.sf.reviews Mon Aug 18 15:22:50 1997 Path: news.ifm.liu.se!news.lth.se!eru.mt.luth.se!news.algonet.se!news-spur1.maxwell.syr.edu!news.maxwell.syr.edu!infeed1.internetmci.com!newsfeed.internetmci.com!in3.uu.net!140.142.64.3!news.u.washington.edu!grahams From: Brian Koller Newsgroups: rec.arts.movies.reviews,rec.arts.sf.reviews Subject: Retrospective: Waterworld (1995) Followup-To: rec.arts.sf.movies Date: 28 Jul 1997 15:50:18 GMT Organization: Alcatel Network Systems Lines: 77 Approved: graham@ee.washington.edu Message-ID: <5rif3q$8ps@nntp5.u.washington.edu> NNTP-Posting-Host: homer38.u.washington.edu Mime-Version: 1.0 NNTP-Posting-User: grahams Summary: r.a.m.r. #08376 Keywords: author=koller X-Questions-to: movie-rev-mod@www.ee.washington.edu X-Submissions-to: movie-reviews@www.ee.washington.edu Originator: grahams@homer38.u.washington.edu Xref: news.ifm.liu.se rec.arts.movies.reviews:7794 rec.arts.sf.reviews:1460 Waterworld (1995) Grade: 60 We all know the rap about Waterworld. It was one of the most expensive movies ever, but still turned a profit. It is like "The Road Warrior" but not as good. It is overlong. Well, all these things are true, and there are other problems as well, but the movie is still marginally good. Just maybe it was worth the cost after all. Waterworld takes place in a future when the ice caps have melted, making a planet a landless ocean. To their credit, mankind has survived, in limited numbers, on man-made atolls and on various boats and ships. Kevin Costner is the mariner, a loner who spends all his type on his boat, and his interaction with others is purely to trade. Visiting an atoll to trade his dirt (more valuable than gold), Costner meets Jeanne Tripplehorn (JTH to save keystrokes) and buys all her supplies. He meets trouble at the colony, however, and is discovered to a mutant, with gills behind his ears. For some reason, he is then put in a cage and condemned to death. Just as sentence is being passed (his cage is slowly descended into a mudpit) a band of Smokers (described later) attack the atoll. In the carnage that follows, JTH makes a bargain with Costner: she will free him from his nearly-submerged cage if he takes her away on his boat with him. They also take her adopted daughter, who has a tattoo on her back that may be a map to dry land. Much time is then spent developing the bonds between Costner, JTH, and the child. At first Costner considers dumping the both of them overboard, especially the bratty child, but gradually they become a family unit, protected by Costner. The Smokers are after Costner's boat, because they want to kidnap the child in order to find dry land. The Smokers are led by Dennis Hopper, who has apparently survived getting beheaded in "Speed" although he has only one eye now. Hopper is the comic relief, necessary since no one else has a sense of humor, and has several good lines. His band of outlaws also supply several good stunts with their willingness to perform dangerous, often fatal maneuvers on speedboats. The inevitable happens. Hopper kidnaps the child and torches Costner's boat. Some guy in a helicopter, that we met at the atoll early in the film, has good timing and rescues Costner and JTH. The child is now on Hopper's battleship, annoying Hopper and his sidekick with her brave prattling about how her new stepdad will come to rescue her. The odds that Costner would get to the battleship, find the girl alive, successfully confront the villian, destroy the ship, and save himself and the girl are about the same odds that a snowman would survive a Dallas summer. But it happens. Using the helicopter, the girl's tattoo, and some old National Geographic maps, dry land is discovered. Even more amazing, no one else has settled it yet. But the mariner does not want to enjoy bliss on Eden, and returns to the sea. The film is full of non-sequitors. How can a large group of Smokers continue to consume cigarettes when there is no arable land to grow tobacco? How can man develop gills in a few hundred years when whales, seals, penguins etc haven't in millions of years? I could go on but you get the point. But I shouldn't be too hard on the film. The big budget delivers good sets, stunts and explosions. I like the movie's attitude as well: humanity finds a way to survive despite the odds. No, it isn't as good as "The Road Warrior", but don't tape over it just yet. http://members.tripod.com/~Brian_Koller/movies.html From rec.arts.sf.reviews Mon Aug 10 12:52:29 1998 Path: news.ifm.liu.se!news.lth.se!news.solace.mh.se!news.xinit.se!nntp.se.dataphone.net!news.kolumbus.fi!news-stkh.gip.net!news-peer.gip.net!news.gsl.net!gip.net!newsxfer3.itd.umich.edu!newsfeed.direct.ca!news.u.washington.edu!grahams From: agapow@latcs1.cs.latrobe.edu.au (p-m agapow) Newsgroups: rec.arts.movies.reviews,rec.arts.sf.reviews Subject: Retrospective: Waterworld (1995) Followup-To: rec.arts.sf.movies Date: 30 Jul 1998 23:10:58 GMT Organization: Calvin Coolidge Home for Dead Biologists Lines: 84 Approved: graham@ee.washington.edu Distribution: world Message-ID: <6pqui2$14ne$1@nntp3.u.washington.edu> NNTP-Posting-Host: homer01.u.washington.edu X-Trace: nntp3.u.washington.edu 901840258 37614 (None) 140.142.17.38 X-Complaints-To: help@cac.washington.edu NNTP-Posting-User: grahams Summary: r.a.m.r. #13657 Keywords: author=agapow X-Questions-to: movie-rev-mod@www.ee.washington.edu X-Submissions-to: movie-reviews@www.ee.washington.edu Originator: grahams@homer01.u.washington.edu Xref: news.ifm.liu.se rec.arts.movies.reviews:12839 rec.arts.sf.reviews:2071 [video] "Waterworld" (A Postview, copyright 1998 P-M Agapow) "Mad Max 2" recast with lots of water and too much budget. "Waterworld" is, of course, one of the most reviled and sneered at pictures of recent times. So fierce and scathing was the reaction to the picture, even before release, that it was virtually guaranteed to fail. It alone may have terminated the career of its director and star, Kevin Costner. But is it really that bad? In this cynical post "Starship Troopers" era, this question deserves to be asked. For those who came in late - The icecaps have melted and the entire world is covered by water. Humans eke out an existence on the surface, on boats and in floating towns. Kevin Costner is a mutant, shunned by society and forced to rely only on himself. Strangely enough, in this film he also plays a mutant, shunned by society and forced to rely only on himself. He ends up in possession of Jeanne Tripplehorn and her surly charge, a child with a map of dry land tattooed on her back. There's also a bunch of pirates who, since they are lead by Dennis Hopper, must attack Costner psychotically until the end of the movie. Purportedly this is to get the map, but actually it's just so something happens between sailing sequences. There are a lot of things wrong with "Waterworld". A decent attempt is made at swashbuckling action, with Costner biffing waves of pirate rabble. Unfortunately the Kev-ster is far too stodgy and aloof to make a charismatic hero, although to be fair this is probably the result of him trying to appear tough and self-reliant. There is much distressed leather and carefully draped rags for fashion. Should Jeanne Tripplehorn ever get her eyebrows plucked, she will be unable to act at all. Given the areactive chemistry generated between her and Costner, perhaps it would be best if she retired and sold the options on her name to some aspiring porn actress. And towards the end the movie does drag a bit. But having said that, "Waterworld" is not all that bad. The world is preposterous, but no more so that a lot of other films. As said above, there's some decent action. Dennis Hopper (whose career may not be destroyed by conventional weaponry) wheels out his violent psycho shtick again, but at least he is having some fun. There's explosions, some nicely setup jokes, a reasonably paced first section and some good photography of scenes set against the wide empty sea. "Waterworld" is no trashier, and no more ambitious, than "Independence Day" or "Jurassic Park" or a number of other Big Dumb Pictures (BDPs). So why was it reviled so much? Certainly, if this was a B-grade film (directed by, say, Roger Corman) which instead of starring Costner, Hopper and Tripplehorn starred Charlie Sheen, Rutger Hauer and Tripplehorn, no-one would have batted an eyelid. Unless we credit purely random forces, it may be that "Waterworld" didn't play the publicity game well enough and entered a market that was unreceptive to a BDP. The extraordinary budget is another question. While it is an issue that is largely transparent to the movie-goer, it is sobering to think that on some level instead of "Waterworld" we could have got another "Gattaca", "In the Mouth of Madness" and "Until the End of the World". (Or another "Metropolitan", "Simple Men", "Jesus of Montreal" and handful of other independent pictures.) On this level, "Waterworld" is flagrantly wasteful, especially since the budget really doesn't show to any extent. I would hesitate to recommend something that is so ephemeral. But count this review as a small rehabilitation of "Waterworld". While not a deep or great picture, the savaging it received was unjustified and may have prevented an actor/director from realising his full potential. [**/ok] and a lesser Errol Flynn on the Sid and Nancy scale. "Waterworld" Released 1995. Directed by Kevin Reynolds and Kevin Costner Starring Kevin Costner. Dennis Hopper, Jeanne Tripplehorn Majorino. -- Paul-Michael Agapow (agapow@latcs1.oz.au) Postviews SF/F reviews & mailing-list at www.cs.latrobe.edu.au/~agapow/Postviews From rec.arts.sf.reviews Mon Aug 10 12:56:25 1998 Path: news.ifm.liu.se!news.lth.se!news.solace.mh.se!news.xinit.se!nntp.se.dataphone.net!newsfeed.online.no!uninett.no!news.algonet.se!masternews.telia.net!news-nyc.telia.net!news.idt.net!news-peer-east.sprintlink.net!news-peer.sprintlink.net!news-backup-east.sprintlink.net!news.sprintlink.net!192.220.250.21!netnews1.nw.verio.net!netnews.nwnet.net!news.u.washington.edu!grahams From: monika@darwin.inka.de (Monika Huebner) Newsgroups: rec.arts.movies.reviews,rec.arts.sf.reviews Subject: Retrospective: Waterworld (1995) Followup-To: rec.arts.sf.movies Date: 5 Aug 1998 05:07:24 GMT Organization: Individual Network Region Karlsruhe e.V. Lines: 87 Approved: graham@ee.washington.edu Message-ID: <6q8pac$uq4$1@nntp3.u.washington.edu> NNTP-Posting-Host: homer32.u.washington.edu X-Trace: nntp3.u.washington.edu 902293644 31556 (None) 140.142.17.39 X-Complaints-To: help@cac.washington.edu NNTP-Posting-User: grahams Summary: r.a.m.r. #13740 Keywords: author=huebner X-Questions-to: movie-rev-mod@www.ee.washington.edu X-Submissions-to: movie-reviews@www.ee.washington.edu Originator: grahams@homer32.u.washington.edu Xref: news.ifm.liu.se rec.arts.movies.reviews:12946 rec.arts.sf.reviews:2081 Waterworld A film review by Monika Huebner Copyright 1998 Monika Huebner Director: Kevin Reynolds Cast: Kevin Costner, Dennis Hopper, Jeanne Tripplehorn, Tina Majorino and others In WATERWORLD the darkest prophecies have come true: a radical change of climate melted the pole caps, the world is flooded with water and the few survivors live on makeshift water vessels. But if you thought that would make people stick together you're wrong. Even in those hard times some bad guys, the Smokers, only seek to draw profit from other people's misery. They, too, have heard the legend of Dryland. Supposedly there is one last place on Earth not covered with water, but nobody knows where. To find Dryland they need a map that is tattooed on the back of Enola (Tina Majorino), a little girl. The Smokers try to get their hands on her, but they have to get past her protector first: the Mariner (Kevin Costner), a mutated half amphibian man. There are disaster movies and movies that are a disaster. WATERWORLD belongs to the latter category. When the movie hit the theaters this was amply discussed. Surprisingly it was a box office hit in Europe. Maybe over here more people want to see for themselves whether a movie is really as bad as the critics say it is. Considering the set and the costume you have to wonder why this movie was almost as expensive in the making as James Cameron's TITANIC. At least TITANIC gives you an idea of where all the money has gone. The set of WATERWORLD looks like the designers got it from scrap yards all over the US, so what was so expensive? The costumes? Hardly, unless the torn rags were designed by some highly paid couturier. Who knows. Most of the set was blown up at the end of the movie. Who cares about the resulting damages to the environment. There isn't much to be said about the acting. It's like watching a group of amateur actors performing a play they wrote themselves. Not even Dennis Hopper turns in a convincing performance. Had this been the admission test for an acting school the candidate would have flunked. The same is true for Kevin Costner as the Mariner. Didn't it cross his mind that he has outgrown the part of "youthful hero"? I guess not. Otherwise he wouldn't have set out to ridicule himself with the world watching. Lack of hair isn't very well concealed by just letting the remaining hair grow longer, and having it pasted to your head because it's wet all the time doesn't help either. At least we get to admire the Mariner's gills. It is never mentioned exactly how long Earth has been covered with water, but a few centuries are not long enough for such a mutation to occur. The term "ichthyosapiens" is one of the few laughs the movie produces. Is that good or bad? The less said about the two major female characters the better. They only serve one purpose: eye-candy. Of course Helen (Jeanne Tripplehorn) immediately offers to fish and cook for the Mariner if he takes them with him and her foster daughter Enola will do the same. The disastrous change of climate at least had the positive side effect of ending women's lib for good. It's back to the idyllic days of stone age. According to latest research that idyll wasn't what it was cracked up to be, but that isn't very likely to influence the way women are depicted in movies made in Tinseltown. The function of women in movies very often is just to look good and serve the hero in every way possible. Logic isn't even tried in WATERWORLD. Even if all glaciers and the pole caps were to melt not all the continents would be covered with water. There just isn't enough water on Earth. It's preposterous to assume that only a few small islands remain that can't be found for centuries. But in spite of the fact that the Earth became a water desert one tomatoe plant survived (for centuries, again ??). And were did the chain smokers grow their tobacco? Probably from a swimming factory with some replicators borrowed from Star Trek. Not to mention the refinery needed to produce fuel for the Smoker's various rides. There is more to discover on a closer look, but it's not worth the trouble. One of the biggest wastes of money in the history of movie making. All existing copies should be burned in a big bonfire on Walpurgis Night so the witches can have a decent dance. But that would hurt the environment again. Homepage: Book and movie reviews http://sites.inka.de/sites/darwin