The Tower

Yes. Today is the day. You can feel it in your bones. But first, what is your name? [[Hochi Wochi Splotchi|Inevitability1]] [[Captain Sarsaparilla|Inevitability2]] [[Dodecahedron|Inevitability3]]

There is a nice shape to this island. Yes. Quite nice. You head up the beach to see if the other side is as nice as this one. [[There is some kind of splashing behind you|R1]]

There is a nice shape to this island. Yes. Quite nice. You head up the beach to see if the other side is as nice as this one. [[There is some kind of splashing behind you|R2]]

There is a nice shape to this island. Yes. Quite nice. You head up the beach to see if the other side is as nice as this one. [[There is some kind of splashing behind you|R3]]

[[A cat emerges from the sea]]

Sea-cat? Mer-cat? [[It seems to be wearing clothes fit for land use]]

Have the submarine creatures been studying you all this time, waiting eagerly for you to put your guard down, and preparing themselves for conquest of the supermarine world by making disguises and cutting off their fins in order to seamlessly blend in? [[and it's carrying all your stuff]]

It must have known you were moving, gone to your future new home, and stolen your favourite slippers and husband and doorknobs [[No husband in sight]]

It probably killed and ate your husband [[Introduce yourself]]

"My name is Hochi Wochi Splotchi", you say. "Yes, Mistress", it answers. [["Now remove all your clothes"]]

"Yes, Mistress" "You are far too watery and drippy and squelchy to be around my beach" "Yes, Mistress" [[Discover perfect spot for house]]

A bay filled with nothing so that your home will have room to stand here, almost as if you needed proof for the existence of world-creating gods [["Pen. Paper."]]

"Yes, Mistress" [[Write down unparallelled idea]]

*HAVE CONFIRMED EXISTENCE OF GODS* [[Let creative juices flow]]

You were going to sign this, but no one signs things any more so you draw a little plant growing out of an eyeball instead, and this scroll is so damp the ink just ran together anyway, which makes it hard to see what you wrote even if you squint and turn it upside down and hold it up to the sun [[Can't have been important]]

You suddenly need a mushroom [[Crave. You crave a mushroom.]]

You turn around to create a mushroom "sudo-" [[There is a naked cat behind you]]

You defend yourself with a small spark of fire and muffle every sound on the island so no living thing can hear your yelp [[The cat is singed]]

Apparently its fur was filled with water [[Of course]]

The cat has been to the future and knew you would use fire [[Use guile instead]]

You unmuffle the island and pretend this was a normal side effect of mushroom growing [[Watch mushroom grow]]

For weeks, but the cat is a good cook [[Avoid being bored]]

You amuse yourself by fending off assassination attempts [[There are more people around now]]

You adopt them and let them work for you and use the annoying ones as test subjects [[Mushroom needs another floor]]

[[One only you can enter]]

[[A mouse hole portal!|Change]] [[A lock requiring poison-tasting skills!|Change]] [[No stairs!]]

Except you accidentally already made the place without adding stairs, so now you have no choice but to accept [[Move in. Bring a pet]]

There really are no stairs [[Move in. Bring a pet]]

Good thing you planned on needing a cat [[It's carrying all this nice stuff you really like]]

You should have planned on needing a bed, but now the cat is stuck in your stair-less palace and can't go get one for you and you have like one blanket to wear to bed [[Solve energy crisis]]

All these people are not stuck on an unreachable upper floor, so you command them to make you a false library only you are really smart and wily so you say it like; "Make me a library" [[They don't suspect a thing]]

You discover there are others already living on the island and experience a gnawing suspicion you might have trampled all over territory that was already claimed by someone else, but they probably like mushrooms anyway, who doesn't, so you've enrichened their lives before they had to ask [[Apply diplomacy]]

Unfortunately they are almost as rude as you and keep ignoring or biting you, which is really annoying and makes you commit acts of aggression which makes you kind of sad which makes you want to escalate [[The only way out is genocide]]

Only you get interrupted by lesser beings who mumble that they have brought you books and shelves and a sign that says 'Library' [["Continue this war in my name"]]

"Bring me their young. Decorate my tower with them. Glue them to the furniture. Then invite people I don't like for tea so they will know how my enemies suffer" [[Energy crisis solved]]

There is a passable library in your mushroom and only you know its nefarious purpose which is very unfair, so you decide to share the knowledge "These books and shelves (and that nice little sign) shall be put to the flame so that our chambers become more warmer" [[Contemplate home]]

Your mushroom is so perfect it needs a name [[BRANORA]]

<img src="http://www.uesp.net/w/images/1/16/MW-place-Tel_Branora.jpg" width="500" height="300" alt="BEST SHROOM"> [[Embarrassing credits and statistics]]

[[A cat emerges from the sea|A cat emerges from the sea2]]

Sea-cat? Mer-cat? [[It seems to be wearing clothes fit for land use|It seems to be wearing clothes fit for land use2]]

It must have known you were moving, gone to your future new home, and stolen your favourite slippers and husband and doorknobs [[No husband in sight|No husband in sight2]]

[[A cat emerges from the sea|A cat emerges from the sea3]]

Sea-cat? Mer-cat? [[It seems to be wearing clothes fit for land use|It seems to be wearing clothes fit for land use3]]

It must have known you were moving, gone to your future new home, and stolen your favourite slippers and husband and doorknobs [[No husband in sight|No husband in sight3]]

It probably killed and ate your husband [[Introduce yourself|Introduce yourself2]]

It probably killed and ate your husband [[Introduce yourself|Introduce yourself3]]

"My name is Captain Sarsaparilla", you say. "Yes, Mistress", it answers. [["Now remove all your clothes"]]

"My name is Dodecahedron", you say. "Yes, Mistress", it answers. [["Now remove all your clothes"]]

**IN ALPHABETIC ORDER** Apology: **Many sorries. Better game next time. Promise** Approximate time actively working on "game": **Two hours** Name of best game: **[[Morrowind]]** Name of cat: **[[Ra'Zahr]]** Name of main character: **[[Therana]]** Number of toes on author's left foot: **Five** Reason for game being much suck: **Too busy this weekend**

<img src="http://staticdelivery.nexusmods.com/mods/100/images/43461-1-1422236006.jpg" width="400" height="300" alt="McStabbington"> Experienced *TES:III* players feel a slight twinge of nostalgia when seeing this with their eye holes [[Back|Embarrassing credits and statistics]]

<img src="http://www.uesp.net/w/images/9/9f/MW-npc-Ra'Zahr.jpg" width="400" height="400" alt="Naked cat in da haouse"> Very naughty picture. You marked on watchlist [[Back|Embarrassing credits and statistics]]

<img src="http://www.uesp.net/w/images/5/5b/MW-npc-Therana.jpg" width="400" height="400" alt="selfie ftw"> Bring me my blinged out coat [[Back|Embarrassing credits and statistics]]