THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO UNLAWFUL CARNAL KNOWLEDGE

FOR FANTASY ROLE-PLAYING GAMES

The ruling passion, be it what it will,
the ruling passion conquers reason still.

--- Alexander Pope

Graze on my lips; and if those hills be dry,
Stray lower, where the pleasant fountains lie.

--- Shakespeare

Passion often makes a madman of the cleverest
man, and renders the greatest fools clever.

--- La Rouchefoucauld

She weaves the winding-sheets of souls, and lays
them in the urn of everlasting death.

--- Pollok

---

This guide should not be used by anyone that the GM feels is
either to young, to immature, or not a good enough role-player to
handle the topics presented here.

---

COPYRIGHT (C) 1996

The following guide is the property of its authors, who hereby states that they retain the copyright except for where noted. You may distribute it at will, provided that nothing in the guide, this notice, or any of the credits are altered in any way; and that you do not make a profit from it.

This document is not for sale and is made available for private game use only.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

• Initial Reactions To This Guide
• Preface
• Guide Game Mechanics
• The Wild-Thing Rules
• Inter-Species Fertility
• Conception: What are the odds?
• Pregnancy In A RPG?
• When Does The Stork Come?
• Spells For The Mother
• Fetal Alcohol Syndrome
• On The Subject Of A Shapechanging Mother And Child
• The Baby is Here! What Ya' Got?
• Sexual Tendency
• The Bitch Rule
• The Rack Critical Hit Chart: For Men Only
• Seduction: More Than Reaction Rolls
• Seduction For The Professional
• Non-Weapon Skills
• Sexualis Morbus (Sexual Diseases)
• Sexual Insanity?
• On Sex And Sexuality In The Realms
• Spells With Zip
• Clerics Would Use These Spells?
• A Bard's Sexual Spell-Songs
• Sexual Psionic Powers
• Magic Items Your Mom Wouldn't Approve Of
• Cupid's Chaotic Arrows
• Protection Of The Worst Kind (For The Male)
• Houri: Wizard Sub-Class
• Seducer: Wizard Sub-Class
• Seductress: Rogue Sub-Class
• Psiducer: Psionicist Sub-Class
• "I'm Just A Gigolo..." Gigolo: Bard Sub-Class
• Getting To Know A Prostitute (Random Generator)
• Filling The House Of Ill Repute
• Case: The Blue Tavern (Entertainment And Pleasure)
• Encounter Non-Player Characters
• Porno Periodicals Of Humanoids
• Sexist Quotes
• Other Tidbits
• An Abyss Level
• Adventuring Ideas
• ESSAY: What If A Character Rapes A NPC?
• ESSAY: Has Anyone Played A Homosexual Character?
• Plots For Homosexual Characters
• A Few Good Stories
• Special Thanks
• The INTERET Controversy Of The Guide

                                                  LAST UPDATE: 01/01/96

INITIAL REACTIONS TO THIS GUIDE

"I think that saying 'my campaign has no place for sex because my players satisfy their sexual needs elsewhere' is roughly the same as boasting that your campaign has no place for the green color, because when your players want to see green, they go and look at your petunias. Our lives and our characters' lives are different things altogether."

--- Luwain

"The sex guide is interesting to say the least."

"...it's a pretty handy guide to have really."

--- Matt

"The people in my group love the guide!!!"

"Imagine my player's face when he realized he had screwed a

wight lich !!!" --- Larry

"...let me intrude to tell you that my wife and I really like what you have come up with."

"We both have rather chaotic sensual souls as characters."

--- Morgan Blackheart

"It certainly has some interesting ideas in there."

"My friend, who is GM'ing this rather, umm, slutty city, has made good usage from it..."

--- Steve

"There where nice ideas." "Great Idea & Fun!"

"...it looks GREAT !!!" "It looks good & Fun."

--- Vinnie

"Well, I've read over the pages and it looks GREAT!"

--- Mike

"It takes perversion to a higher level."

--- Brian

"I...found it quite enjoyable and reasonable for application to RPGs."

"The guide is really good -- I am very impressed with the work..."

--- Jason

"I have looked it over gleefully..."

--- Lonadar

"It looks great! We've been pondering the problems of pregnancy...It looks as if your manual will take care of that and lots lots lots more."

--- Lisamarie Babik

"I also wanted to tell you that your compilation of sex in RPG rules was hilariously funny and extremely FUN."

--- Adam

"...really wild! I really enjoyed the humor and couldn't resist in printing a copy for myself."

"The sex guide did have its moments..."

"I am looking forward in hearing from you again."

--- The Mage (Nancy)

"Reading your guide was real fun and I think using it will be even more fun."

--- Mike

"I enjoyed your guide, and it will certainly add some spice to my next campaign."

--- Mike W.

"I just wanted to commend you for the guide... It was great... the imagination of everyone involved was excellent."

--- J.J.

"Fascinating guide you have here."

"You and others have obviously spent a lot of time and effort bringing it to its present incarnation."

"I am most impressed, and can't wait to pore over it in more detail."

--- Corwin

"Interesting and amusing."

--- David

"I found it really amusing, and while I'm not sure if I will use its materials in my games I find it is really inspiring..."

--- Roberto Di Meglio

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!! I just looked over the Sex Guide and I must say: FANTASTIC!!! GREAT!!! SUPERB!!!!"

--- Alexander

"Excellent work, and thorough."

--- Scott

"I read you guide... Its very good!!! Thanks a lot."

--- Carlos

"Thank you very much! From the short look I had at the guide just now it looks good and useful. Always nice to see something both amusing and functional."

--- Rhonda

"...by the way I am greatly impressed -- it will help out with my GMing immensely."

--- Sasha

"I just wanted to write and tell you I loved it..."

"It was amazing."

"I didn't realize how much you could actually put into SEX in RPGs."

"I plan to be starting an RPG world soon, and I hope to use it."

"Thank you very much, and once again, I think you have done a marvelous job!"

--- James

"Most Excellent!"

--- Joe

"I really really enjoy the guide to sex!"

"I think it is the funniest thing I have read in a long time."

"Bravo, good job, two thumbs up."

--- Thomas Forlorn

"I enjoyed the Guide to Sex. It was worth many a hearty guffaw."

--- Robin

"You did an excellent job on it."

--- Rich

"I found the Sex Guide rather humorous."

"I don't know if my GM is going to use it but I might find some of the stuff useful, if not entertaining for other players."

--- Eric

"I appreciate you work and thank you for it."

"I use a German role-playing system here. So of course I have to redo the game-specific things. However, this document is a great collection of ideas and I'm going to use a lot of it."

--- Donald

"I wrote to say THANKS A LOT FOR WRITING/COMPILING/EDITING the guide."

"...it's just wonderful, funny to read, useful and well written."

"Again, thanks a lot for the guide... just GREAT."

--- Jarmas

"Thank you for the info in the Sex Guide. It has already proved helpful, because of the pregnancy of one of the elves, the rest of the female characters are mellowing out on the drinking/sex everytime we enter a town. The males are also chilling out, I think they know that they are running a chance for disease now."

--- Arden

"The Complete Guide to Sex has become my GM's guide."

--- Callen

"I got the Sex Guide, a friend sent me a copy. I shrugged it off as perverted :) But then scanned through it anyway. My apologies, it is not at all what I expected!"

"I am taking my PC's through the realms for a while, then plan to whisk them off to Raven for a laugh. You have given me some great ideas to throw at my poor PC's :)"

--- Deanna

"I must say that your guide is great! When I showed it to my players they loved it so much that we will start an adventure inspired by it."

--- Roberto

"This is very interesting and funny to relax with in a game! But all my party wants to know when you will complete them!!"

--- The Unnamed

"I've been reading your wonderful Guide to Sex, and I found it great!"

--- Javier

"It was so excellent I had to take it home to read because I would of interrupted the whole computer center with my laughter. My group also loves it, we intend to play a modified game using your rules."

--- Fred

"I just wanted to say that your book is probably the funniest thing I've ever seen written for RPGs."

--- Stephen

"It started out as a small simple project, but it splooged into a massive document of infinite knowledge."

"Who'd a thought anybody would show an interest."

--- Guide Creator

PREFACE

Classes? But where could a player find a could source of information? On a RPG discussion list (an electronic mail forum for RPGs), a person posted rules for characters to have sex. I though that this was quite clever and a little demented. Well, just having a few sex rules didn't seem to useful except for its comic appeal so I made some diseases and insanities to make it more interesting. I thought I had a pretty nice guide so I requested some help on the list for people to look it over. Well, this caused quite a stir and I realized that the guide was very incomplete as suggestions for more sections started pouring in. Well, over a few months ideas, comments, criticisms, and additions kept coming. I even established a small mailing list to correspond to these people. By far the best thing to come out of this guide was the useful information on pregnancy which was much needed for most RPGs.

I saw some successful guides created by another list member, so I asked if I could mimic his organizational style and other key elements like the title, copyright, preface, quoting, etc.. We are both hoping that this style will be used in other works to bring some type of unity to all net-guides. Eventually, this final product was reached.

This guide will add a new and often times funny dimension to any campaign. The key is funny. One objective was to try and keep it light and fun. Although some things may be considered perverse, it was created in an jocular fashion. The intent isn't to offend or disgust it is only to enhance the game. This guide is so extensive that there should be something for everybody. And if not, then you can just throw it away (it's not like you had to pay for it or something). I'm sure that companies have plans to publish there own guide <yeah, right>.

For the most part, the information enclosed will have been play-tested and in a workable form. In others, you may have to make further adjustments to fit the ideas into your campaign.

This material is the fruit of labor from a few great people of the Internet. Although some material is my own, it is not all my own. Most of the material was submitted from others, and I merely edited it. Also, many people inspired much of the guide. Plus, they made a considerable amount of suggestions, comments, and criticisms. Acknowledgment to these people is given in the Special Thanks section of this guide.

I prefer that this guide is not mass distributed. This is a very extensive supplement that few deserve. Most criticized, mocked, and scorned me and my comrades while creating it. Only people who are helpful, creative, and appreciative deserve to view this guide. Therefore, be wise and selective when distributing it and don't give it to every Tom, Dick, and Conan.

For those that do receive this guide, I ask that the material is unchanged. Of course I can't really stop anybody from doing what they want. I just ask that you respect those who made this guide possible because I'm sure that they will continue to make great material for RPGs.

                                             The Guide Creator

Much criticism has been aimed at this guide because of its topics. Some feel that characters are forced to roll instead of role-play. Some feel that its contradictory to increase role-playing by adding more tables.

I don't think that some rules hamper role-playing. A lot of players don't like bad things to happen to their characters and will prevent these things to happen. Having the rules allows the GM to ensure that the character suffers, but fairly. Of course the player must still role-play, but now he will know what abilities are effected. On the same note, I find that tables give the characters something to work with instead of just saying something is happening. The character still must role-play. It just helps to give the players some direction. Being free to let a character do anything in the name of role-playing isn't right. RPGs have many rules and to criticize rules that others make isn't fair. Why not criticize the combat system, spell casting, and such? You could say that the limitations put on spells hampers role-playing. Why not let characters flourish with dramatic spell-use that isn't encumbered with rules? My point is that some rules are to much, but using certain ones that you like at the right time will enhance role-playing by giving players something to work with.

However, I do feel that some rules are encumbersome. I didn't care for the sex rules in this guide and haven't used them, but some people do and that is fine. The conception rules I feel are useful because characters find out if they are pregnant randomly (for females) without the GM deciding. Because when the GM decides, the character assumes (with good reason) that the pregnancy occurred for some dastardly plot reason.

There are many types of players around, some like rules others don't. I just put everything in my guides based on what people ask for. I don't limit the guide to just what I want. I just don't use what I like. I make available what people want and suggest.

I would like to quote a friend, Morgan, who seems to say it all about people's complaints:

"I think all those that complain that guides are too strict or difficult to roll are a wee too steeped in the judicial side of the game, i.e. following the rules to the letter. I suppose someone ought to mention that what you're doing is creating guides for those who want to have a bit more realism in certain situations, not creating rules that MUST be played. In general, I've found a lot of useful ideas contained in your guides which can be used or abused to make my games more enjoyable. Thanks for collecting all of this stuff."